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Parental Alienation Day is one holiday that no one wants to celebrate. For many the name stirs a mild curiosity. For others, a searing pain that cuts through their very soul.
Mike Jeffries said it best on Basil & Spice when he wrote, "You won’t find an e-card that says, ‘Happy Parental Alienation Day.’ However if more people know why parents alienate a child from the child’s other parent, and how damaging these behaviors are to the child, then more people can help address the problem. Awareness and education are the first steps towards change.” See Parental alienation information and support.
How common is parental alienation? Four out of every 10 children whose parents don't live together haven't seen their fathers in over a year. See Why is there a fathers rights movement?.
Mothers are victims of parental alienation too. Which is why some are left scratching their heads when radical feminist domestic violence advocates and so-called "protective mother" groups film fake documentaries to convince legislators that parental alienation isn't real.
What causes parental alienation? Many things can set parental alienation in motion. From a man taking the advice of his attorney to "go after her" with everything he has, to a woman taking the advice of friends to say she's "scared of him." See VAWA funds parental child abduction. Well-meaning but misinformed people can knock separating parents off-track.
National columnist Kathleen Parker, who is pro-family court reform and a friend to fathers recently won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Fathers & Families quote Parker: “The divorce system is counterintuitive and morally bankrupt, and needs reinventing… What the organized fathers’ groups want isn’t wrong or mean-spirited but right and fair to children. Who among us can blame a man, wrongfully denied his own child, for shouting out that he was framed?”
Equal parenting 101: What's the best way to divorce with children?
Teri Stoddard is a nature loving, 50-something San Francisco Bay Area native, mom of four and grandma to two. After a career in foster and child day care, Teri continues her child advocacy by reporting on family rights and issues affecting San Francisco Bay Area families. Teri is Director of Marketing for Danville and Lamorinda College Nannies & Tutors.
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In California Fathers 4 Justice will be holding our 4th annual candle light vigil for our children at the State Capitol in Sacramento. Please join us if you can, if not, please light a candle for our children in your state and forward a picture with your story to info@f4j.us and we will post it to our website!
“Lighting Candles World Wide - April 25th., 2010 - Denver, Colorado”
Dear Friends,
As National Vice President of: Three Sides to Every Story, Inc.
I want everyone possible to feel welcome to join together anyway we might!
I strongly encourage every one to please make time to do something special and please take some pictures of whatever you might.
“Lighting Candles World Wide”
A Project of: Three Sides to Every Story, Inc.
A Project of: Three Sides to Every Story - Colorado, Inc.
-Respectfully,
“Shannon’s Dad”
Don Hutter jR.
Statistics are not always accurate. Of the 4 in 10 kids who haven't seen their fathers in a year, at least half of them have voluntarily walked away from their kids for various reasons. It is easy to claim parental alienation when it is not used. Many use the claim to try to reduce or get out of their child support obligations. True parental alienation is difficult to prove or demonstrate.
old codger,
yes, stats are not always accurate. especially when they're made up. ...but somehow YOU know that most of the missing fathers walked away on their own... how is that? have you talked to each of them?
I did some research on Richard Gardner and I found some of his ideas about children very disturbing (early sexualization of children beneficial.) Also the fact that he committed suicide leaves me to wonder about the man's mental state.
Mindy, aside from what Mr. Gardner did or did not do, there are innocent parents and children suffering every day, and it needs to stop.
Old Fart:
None of your statistics mean a damnthing until there is COMPLETE equality between parents from the moment of known conception--by the time a male parent walks off they usually have been kicked in the head over it more than you have apparently ever experienced.
David Olson
ABQ, NM 505-331-2647 =]
I've been kicked in the head more then a few times, But I'm not giving up. two and a half years and counting. I have sole custody of my two children,( Won in March 2008 but it took until 4/2009 to find where she was hiding them ) yet some how I only get to see them every other weekend..Seems that if your a woman and you can keep the kids from their father long enough legal or not it becomes in the childs best intrest to stay where he is.Because it might tramatise the kid removing him from the "Primary parent" even though no one prevented that from happening when the mother ran off with the kids. And of course, no penalty for the mother for breaking the law and fleeing with the kids.
Maybe the so called alienating parent is doing it to protect the child. The other parent may be abusive and no one is believing and protecting the child.
Mindy, in most cases the alienating parent is the one who is causing harm, not the other way around.
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