You don't have to be equally attracted to both
Some people would say that everyone is bisexual, but I'm not going to buy into that line. That's the easiest way to confuse those of you who may be on the fence.
And no, just because you thought about doing something with a friend of the same sex—or maybe even did a little fooling around at one time—it doesn't mean that you've got the "B" label branded on your forehead forever. Nor, does it mean if you've never actually had sex with both a man and a woman that you cannot declare yourself a bisexual.
In fact, many people who identify as bisexual have yet to experience full sexual relations with a man and a woman (and it doesn't have to be at the same time, either!)
Bisexuality, in its simplest form, is the understanding or awareness that you can be attracted physically and emotionally to either gender at some point.
It doesn't mean that you have to be equally attracted to both, and it doesn't mean that you have to have regular sex with both genders to be happy or satisfied. And yes, bisexuals can be monogamous, and have one only one partner at a time and be very content.
So, very simply, the term is one of self-identification. That is why we don't see more people out there calling themselves "bisexual." It is a term that brings with it a lot of misconceptions, prejudices and judgments. A lot of people act in bisexual ways, but don't call themselves that. Others may never have really understood the term fully.
If you're "on the fence" about whether you're bisexual, don't just jump in. Go to a Bi Center or a bisexual club (see the Bisexual Resource Center) and meet others to talk about it. Or, just do some more experimenting until you are sure.
There are many ways of testing your sexuality. There are many quizzes you can take online, and even a bunch of tests that we developed that even include what you like to put between your lips to test your sexual preference (see: The Sushi/Hot-Dog Dilemma).
If you know you are definitely not that way, then that's fine. That doesn't mean you have to stop reading this column. However, if you do identify as such, welcome to the club, keep on reading, and make sure you sign up by clicking on the link next to my picture (above).
Here are some of the most popular methods for determining the extent of your fluidity.
Kinsey Scale: Grades experience and psychological reactions with 0 being entirely hetero, 6 entirely homo, and 3, equally attracted. Most people fall between 1 and 5 revealing some level of bisexuality. This takes hours of intimate questioning.
Klein Sexual Orientation Grid: Created by noted bisexual psychiatrist, Dr. Fritz Klein, the grid measures seven elements of sexuality based on past, present and future.
Dual Attraction: In their book, Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J. Williams and Douglas W. Pryor simplified Dr. Klein's grid by using three variables: sexual feelings, sexual activities and romantic feelings, allowing bisexuals to fall into homo or hetero categories.
Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality: Developed in the 1980s, this behavioral and cognitive scale measures levels of hetero, homo and asexual feelings and contains six bisexual categories.
The Three-Circle Graph: Antonio Galarza has come up with three intersecting circles to show sexuality that includes concepts like hetero-romantic and homo-platonic, but ultimately it shows 70-80% of all males are bi.
And then, there are quizzes and tests that you can take, too. More on that in another column (or see the lists on the right of this column.)
Want to see the Faces of Bisexuality? Click on the slide show below for some of the most renown outspoken activists, and also click on the video below for a poignant look at the word.
Other informative pieces about the bi world . . .
* Negotiating your first threeway—are you the middle man or the guest star?
* Bisexual father recalls the tragedy of his bi son's discrimination and suicide
*
The sweet 16 most significant women in the bisexual movement
* Youth don't like sexual labels, and Minnesota's BECAUSE wrap
* Light a candle, be an activist, learn about Radical Faeries and see naked people
* How to seduce a straight guy
* Everyone wants to see two celebrity girls kissing
* Check out the cool bisexuals who gathered for a kick-off of the L.A. Bi Center project
Comments
Great piece! Some people say "either gender" is too restrictive, but I like the defintion on the "Bisexual Index" site: sexually attracted to more than one gender.
Are you a single? I came across an online community for individual seeking bisexual love. It is
=== BiFlirts.com ===All singles and couples there are seeking bisexual relationships. bisexual is not a problem here, but a great merit to cherish! Upgrade to a gold member to meet hundreds of thousands of bisexual singles!
Great srticle, Mike!!!
Great resources here, Mike! I took a fun "How Hetero" test the other day that uses keywords in your Twitter feed to determine how hetero you are, and came up 36% hetero. Link is here if anyone wants to try it out: tinyurl.com/natxro -- Mine said, "You're a bit retro hetero. Take care of your hetero memories, they're as important to you as the flannel shirt was to the grunge." Ha! I'm actually in a very awesome monogamous and hetero-relationship at the moment, but that 36% hetero stat still strikes me as pretty close to the truth!
Love, Sarah
tinyurl.com/sexaminer
many LGBT have ever been asked these similar questions, according to what I have heard for those LGBT online at ----BiFlirts.com--- . However, not all LGBT take the same action as you do. If all of us can be brave as you, there will be less discrimination for us LGBT surely.
The Kinsey Scale does not say that
most people fall between 1 and 5, it just says that you can either be straight (zero) or homosexual (six) and everything inbetween is bisexual.
I don't believe that 70-80% of men or people are bisexual, if that were true society would be different.
Most people are heterosexual and do not have sexual or romantic attractions to the same gender at all.
Why do ppl make sexuality so complex? There's only 2 genders to choose from! SIMPLE! Who needs to wade thru complicated research about it. Some ppl think too much -- including the sex researches who have waaay too much time on their hands.
This *all bisexual* garbage is a big rumour spread by bisexuals themselves. Makes 'em look dumb instead of intelligent.
Ppl are misinformed and have interpreted the Kinsey scale incorrectly. The scale does NOT say that all are bisexual. It just mentions the points in the middle but there's no proof of the # of population that's falls in that bisexual area. Hear that bisexuals? NO PROOF. NO PROOF. NO PROOF. Hope that sticks in your bisexual compulsive minds.
the reason there is not any proof of the number of our population being bisexual is because, we bisexuals, are sometimes afraid to tell someone we are bisexual. We live our lives differently sometimes to hide it.
Can you deal with people from a position of love and compassion? If you can't, it is because you are judging them and judgment is just a reflection of something you do not like about yourself. How does your judgment on bisexual reflect back on you?
Why do feel the need to attack bisexuals
People like Kelly needs to light a firecracker and shove it up her blooming ASS!! Bisexuality is an identity just like being lesbian or gay and for you to say that shows your ignorance. I have family who are bisexual as well as friends and are the most coolest people I know.
It's dumb-ass people like you that keep good people who are only living their lives to revert back into the closet- Something I will not encouraged..Be Proud, "Bi-People!!"
'U need to check yourself, before you wreck yourself' I will blast you every time you say something nasty Kelly.. "Try Me!"
D.
Donne is a toxic person. What comes around goes around... Spew toxic energy and it'll come right back at you.
Hi, I didn't read this cause well, I didn't have the time. All I have to say is being bisexual is no biggie. I'm bi. Just because someone is bi doesn't mean they have diseases, whores, or are bad people. We're just like everyone else. Just like both sexes. Don't be afraid. We don't bite. I do though. :D
Bisexual people are amazing.(: We're just like everyone else. Just our sexual orientation is different. I support Gay Marriage Bruhh. :D GAYS RULE! :D
well as a bisexual female. i am going to support any sexual orientation. everyone is equal. whether you like guys or girls or both. quit being a holes and just live with the people around you and be happy you have a gay, straight, bisexual, or confused friend in your life. much love to my bay KBoo
I'm bi and bisexuality DOES exist. There's nothing wrong with liking girls and guys at the same time. Go bisexuals s2 :))
will being a bisexual in NOTHING!!! what's so different about it??? im a bisexual.... its really nothing.... tats all...
You don't have to be equally attracted to both Some people would say that everyone is bisexual .
Some real hot bisexual men, bisexual women here *** FindBilover dotcom
will it's up to you if you are one!!! butt to meh....idk...
I'm bisexual, what's wrong with it? Being attracted to both genders is nothing that people should be offended by. You can't choose who you like, some people should get a grip.
I'm bi and just got out of a same-sex relationship with a guy and I helped my best friend discover he was gay. We are no different just not accepted.
i dont think it should matter if u are pansexaul or bi or gay i am BI
Amazingly, I used to despise gays and bis. I was raised that way, into a christian home. Until recently, I thought that... until I realised I was Bi as well. After a long time of thinking, I realised how wrong I had been. I'm proud of my bisexuality along with being proud of others, and I won't let anyone-- even my parents make me think otherwise.
I just found out that i might be bi n idk any ideas on how to find out
i think its wrong begin bi cuz its a lezbian type of sex im a am really bi and a pretty girl
How can people say bein bi is nothin. ITS A BLASPHEMY!!! Im sorry guys but...Im a girl and as much as i enjoy a guys company its the girls one i always fall in love with. Sometimes u jus need to refrain...its difficult...i kno...really really really dificult... but the whole same sex intimacy thing. Its only gonna send us to hell!!! Despite what any1 says.
The parts in the bible against homosexuality were written during the greek times when most men engaged in sex with other men and didn't allow women in their lives except to live outside of the cities and birth the children. The bible has been translated- most translations of any material are biased. Words were definitely changed in the bible to ensure what the human author thought it should say. One line that most biblical scholars agree has been changed was "Women will want there husbands and they shall rule over them" (that might not be the perfect verse as I do not have my bible with me at this time)But that verse was actually to read (in meaning) "Women will want there husbands but shall not put them above God" When one translation is changed, you can see that the author would continue through the rest of the book.
I grew up knowing two different men who were gay. They were always different- and people called them "gay" at five years old- not a time were they could possibly "choose" homosexuality. They were born that way- perfect- god doesn't make junk. And, of course, that goes for bisexuals as well.
There is nothing wrong
being bi
I'm bi happy. noone knows but I can't keep it a secret forever. I just find beauty in both sexes whats wrong with that?
IM BI SO WHAT
i realized that i was Bi last year and i have to say im proud that i can literally tell people that i love and feel for both sexes :)
I <3 Boys I <3 Girls
So im bi [: and i cnt seem to tell my parents; im in love with this more den amzinq qirl & i dnt want to start stuff with her bc of my parents.. i tell everyone dat i knw wnt tell my parents but im scared to death what will happen. dis is why i wish people wnt care or look at bi/qay/lesiban/transqender people differently. we're all the same and wen people wana talk crap it just hurts us all & thats why we take it so far. i just wish everythinq werks out in the nxt year or so. love to every qay out there ?
Eventually Youur Gonna Have To Tell Youur Parents Especially If
That Amazinq Person Is The One Youur Truly Inlove Withh. Just
Hear Out Your Parents. It Could Be Relievinq On Everythinq.
-Or Theyy Could Justt Find Out Like Mines(x Nott Good I'd
Ratherr Just Came Straiqht Forward In The Begininq Even
Thouqh iKnow Myy Parents Dont Like The Fact Of Itt.
hahaha get it? goodbye . . . but i'm a good BI!!!! A REALLY good BI ;)my number is 5123459876 call me! it's been a while. i'm really sexually frustrated and i could use someone to talk to you and yES that means you! we could sext
yeah i was boodbi before but it was a mistype my bad
I really like looking at pix of hot guys.
the older I get the more I want to have sex with a man. I had opportunities when I was younger but turned them all down and find myself wishing I had sex with a man as It is on my mind alot.
I always knew I wasn't just straight, ever since I was a little girl. I'm bi, but leaning more toward liking guys. I do, though, find myself attracted to girls from time to time. Especially Shane from the L Word. That's when I REALLY knew..you know?
I think im bi. Its confusing becuz i kno im not straight, but im not gay ethier
I feel the same way!
I can't believe it. But I think I am bi. Hopefully I can come out of the closet soon. I don't mind it and I don't think that there is anything wrong with it at all. I just hope that people can accept it.
I'm not sure what sexuality I am.I do feel an attraction to boys and girls though, so maybe I am bisexual.But I'm not going to declare that yet.I don't think I want to tell my parents that I'm confused about my sexuality though.My mother said she'd disown me if I was bisexual or lesbian.
I think I'm BI idk damn I'm confused I like boys but I also have feelings for some girls all depends on what they are like, i have a sister who is BI too. what are we going to tell us mother!?
I'm not sure whether I'm bi or str8.
I finally admitting to myself that I am bi. I found myself drooling over guys and girls. It just seems natural and people need not judge because GOD created us this way too.
i dont know if im bi or not, its really confusing. :(
I can tell I am BI, but I cannot accept it. I know that everyone is different nd so on...
When I was younger, I used to deny it (and I'm still denying it) and I hated myself just because I didn't feel normal and those tipical feelings; and I couldn't tell anyone. Last night I told to my best friend, he understood and also accepted, but I continue feeling wrong, unconfortable... And after telling him, I feel worse. I'm not even sure if I will be able to look at his eyes again. I felt attacked.
I'm sorry, I just needed to tell someone about my real feelings. THX FOR LISTENING ;)
Really touching vid!!!
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