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Many parents in our community have recently been discussing autism and bullying in school. In some cases a parent’s child has been relentlessly teased by a peer, in other more severe cases the child has been the victim of physical abuse at the hands of another student.
While bullying is fraught with varying degrees of emotional turmoil for the one affected, those with ASD are in many cases easier targets and more profoundly affected. Having difficulty understanding social cues and exhibiting unusual behaviors frequently make a child (and an adult!) an easy target for jokes, teasing, and general disparagement. Gone unchecked, this kind of negative activity can have long lasting emotional, psychological and even physical impact. It is the responsibility of each parent to protect and defend the interests of their child, and a legal obligation of the school and its personnel to provide a safe environment where students can learn without fear, and in accordance to that child’s IEP.
In addressing some steps that parents can take when bullying of their child with autism occurs:
1) Script. Those with ASD can benefit greatly from rehearsing and scripting social interactions, both positive and negative. While you can’t plan for every kind of situation, but it is helpful for parents to create a framework for options and responses for when such situations do occur.
2) Document. Keep a log of any bullying that your child might experience with the day, who it was, what happened, who was told – if anyone. Your record of events can be one of your most powerful tools in helping to defend the rights of your child. If there is any physical abuse, take photographs along with your written record.
3) Escalate. Parents need not be shy about contacting the child’s teacher when an incident of bullying occurs. There is one woman in our community to tried to approach the teacher and was told there was “nothing she could do about it” – and that the other child was just an aggressive type. A few days thereafter, this woman’s child was physically beaten by the bully and admitted to a hospital, and the woman is suing the school. The school and teacher are legally responsible for the educational health of all students. If you fail to get a satisfactory response, escalate to the principal. Then to the school board. You can also contact your local Americans with Disabilities Act representative and even hire a lawyer to write to your school board to ensure your child’s safety and right to education.
For a teacher in a class where the bullying of a student with ASD is taking place there are also important steps and considerations:
1) Don’t "blame" the ASD. I have heard cases of the victim being blamed for being bullied because of his/her ASD behaviorisms. “Tommy’s teasing you because you’re always moving your hands funny, so just stop that.” This is tantamount to telling an African-American boy he’s being teased because his skin color is darker - so just change it. Ridiculous!
2) Public admonishment can backlash. The axiom, “Praise in public, critique in private” is highly relevant here. A well-intentioned teacher or staff member who calls the bully out onto the floor, showing the whole class the bully is being punished for teasing the kid with ASD, can have a backlash effect as it magnifies the conflict in front of peers and can further isolate the child with autism. Better to remove the bully from the class and admonish in private.
3) Document. One of the teacher’s responsibilities is to ensure a healthy learning environment for all students in a classroom. Keeping a written record of bullying behavior, incidents and steps taken is an important document should the matter need to be escalated within the school, for a student’s IEP and informational purposes for parents.
4) Implement a social curriculum. Particularly important for the earlier grades is developing social curriculums in which social cues and responses can be demonstrated and taught. How one can recognize and respond to teasing/bullying, appropriate peer interaction, reacting to stressful situations can all be exposed in a group setting and learned as a group. This helps the NT children as well as those with ASD.
Finally, for both parents and teachers, engage your school in the creation of a plan for dealing with both bullies and victims if one does not yet exist. Having a school-wide plan in place and making the consequences well known is an effective way to broadcast a clear message and set expectations for both students and teachers.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences about autism and bullying here as well as recommendations you might have for both parents and instructors.
Brian Field is the co-founder of the Autism Support Network
www.operationrespect.org
www.antibullying.net
www.bullying.org
www.bullystoppers.com
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Comments
At Balance Educational Services, we teach students a “Bully Proofing Plan of Action.” It includes the following strategies when confronted by a bully(ies): Ignore, Walk Away, Assertively Say “Stop” and Walk Away, Go to a Trusted Adult. We detail all these skills in our book, How to Stop Bullying And Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, And Respect (Corwin Press). These strategies empower targets to stop direct and indirect bullying, including cyber bullying.
Each individual suggestion HAS to be accompanied with details and practice. For instance, ignoring means to continue to do what you were doing without commenting back, making faces or any response that could reinforce the bully. When choosing to walk away, it should be with head up, back straight, and a normal walking pace.
When telling the bully to “Stop,” the victim has to express confidence through body language, eye contact, tone of voice and what (few) words to say. Chronic victims of bullying don’t usually have an assertive style of communication and therefore it needs to be practiced.
My son, age 16, who has Classic Autism, does not understand Bullying. If any Bullying comments are directed at him, he wouldn't realize it. He does have a book of Social Stories, for particular situations, and there is one for Bullying behavior, but he is unable to identify when somebody might be bullying him. AFter all, Bullying is a concept and not a fact. He also doesn't care about what other people think about him because other people have no meaning for him unless he has made a conenction with them, usually because the other person has made an effort to communicate in his style.
I have 2 boys with autism (6th and 4th grades)and from the time they were in Kindergarten I have gone into their classrooms and explained autism to their peers and teachers. It has made an incredible difference! The school district recognized my boys' acceptance and inclusion by their peers and the importance of educating and spreading awareness of autism. They have actually dedicated a full time position (2 half-time teachers) to this cause and the response from everyone has been great!
Brian, the one piece that is missing here is teaching the "typical" kids appropriate behavior. Schools MUST take the responsibility of explaining differences and empowering "typical" kids to understand and embrace the idiosyncracies of their ASD peers. Peer mentors and zero tolerance policies are crucial. Can you imagine how a school would rally around a child of color or a minority religion if that child were singled out for their difference? Why do schools turn a blind eye when our children are the victims of the bullying?
I read an article about a murderer-Ricky Smyrnes in Greensburg, PA. that beat up Autistic children in school. This school apparently allowed Bully's in the same classes as chidren with Autism. That does not seem right.
I resently e-mail the entire CYO team and families about my son who has autism. He was being teased by other peers, he also gone unchecked and was discriminated by his own coach. My intentions were to spread awarness of his condition. Now the coach is suing me for attacking her character in public.
I resently e-mail the entire CYO team and families about my son who has autism. He was being teased by other peers, he also gone unchecked and was discriminated by his own coach. My intentions were to spread awarness of his condition. Now the coach is suing me for attacking her character in public.
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