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Once a liar always a liar?



Honesty and communication are two of the most essential keys in keeping a relationship strong and together.  But what happens when one of those most important keys is compromised by your significant other? Can a person actually truly change?  In essence, does the phrase 'once a liar always a liar' ring true?

There are all sorts of lies. Small lies-big lies.  White lies- real lies, but the fact is, a lie is still a lie.  If your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship. So after your partner lies once, twice, three times-and yet swears he/she will never do it again, how can you really be sure?

Well first off, make sure it's a lie worth wondering and getting upset over.  If he lies to you about your new do looking amazing when in reality, you both know the hairdresser did some serious damage, there's no need to get upset.  Tiny white lies that really don't have any significant meaning is not something to worry about.  Your boyfriend isn't going to be a jerk and say to your face "what in God's name happened to your hair?!" Let these ones go.  Telling these type of white lies once in a while has no relevance to whether or not he/she is going to lie about bigger things in the future. 

Men are known to have selective hearing. Meaning, he remembers the games he won, not the games he lost.  Men will blank out when there is a sports game on and you remind him about your best friends birthday party this weekend.  He hears you but doesn't really comprehend what you're saying (But really, who could pay attention to anything serious when the Bruins are playing in the background?) If he then makes plans for the night of your BFF's birthday, you get upset saying he lied when he promised he would come.  How to avoid this?  Make sure to talk to him about upcoming events or serious things when the T.V. is off or his attention isn't somewhere else.  Like stated earlier, men have selective hearing, make sure he actually listens and understands what you're saying. 

You've caught them in the act more than once. You've caught them in the act of lying. More than once. It is up to you to decide how much you can take. What you need to ask yourself when this happens: Do you consider a wonderful relationship one in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a partner your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you.  When your partner lies to you, it is because he/she does not value you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe.*  Moral of the story-if you catch them in the act multiple time, it is up to you on whether or not you can be in a relationship like that. People can tell you that your girlfriend is a cheater and you should break up with her and on the other end, friends can tell you she's the sweetest thing in your life.  Only you can make this decision.

Once a liar always a liar? Statistics to think about.  Males lie to their partners six times a day, while females only tell three fibs a day. 100% of dating couples surveyed lied to each other in about 1/3 of their conversations.  Most people lie to others once or twice a day and deceive about 30 people a week. 

I leave you with this quote said by John Lilly, "In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true."