I admit, I'm a bit of a skeptic when it comes to dating books that promise readers a happy ending by following a specific dating plan. It reminds me of The Rules, which always seemed too manipulative. After all, just because you follow a few cliched steps doesn't mean that you'll find Prince Charming, or that you and he will commit to the long haul together.
But sometimes a catchy title can steer you away from a book's real message. In the case of the newly launched Get Married This Year: 365 Days to "I Do," I was pleasantly surprised. The book's message is to get real about your bad dating habits and make an effort to change them. No manipulation, no games. Just a plan to take an honest look at yourself. Now this I can relate to.
Dr. Janet Page is the author and a psychotherapist, and was teaching a course at Emery University called "I Will be Married in a Year," (which I'm guessing is how the book got started). She begins with asking readers to understand what you really want in a relationship, and admit to patterns that haven't served you in the past. Then she moves on to how to meet men and frame your attitude to enjoy yourself on a date rather than look at it as a chore. She states, "if you are doing this right, you feel great, are enjoying yourself, and know that dating is not a funeral. It is an opportunity."
Five tips she offers from the book:
1. Stop whining
Lost and rotten relationships are last year's mistakes. It's time to curb the learning curve and stop analyzing your love past. There is no need for review, regret, or remorse. You have amassed enough object lessons in 2011. It's time to get going.
2. De-clutter
You may not be in a relationship or dating a possible dream mate but at least you can be at the start -- facing forward not backward or anchored in a go-nowhere relationship. No baggage is a good beginning. So eliminate deadwood as a new year's gift.
3. Re-order your schedule and your life
Take a long look at your time commitments and plans for the year ahead. Are they to please others or yourself? Do they further finding the love of your life and/or dating someone who might be? Whose life are you leading?
4. Visualize your dream
This is your movie. Write your script. Replace thoughts and feelings of what you don't have with thoughts and feelings about your life and love relationships, as you want them to be. Feel how good it will feel to have life as you envision it and the man you want to love.
5. Take action
There are steps to making a dream a reality. If you want to be with your dream mate in a year, you need to set your goal and your schedule to match it now.
While you may not end up with a husband by New Year's Eve, this book will certainly help set you on the right path to experiencing long-term love. It's not always about the timing.
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