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Moving a relationship from casual to serious

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In the hustle and bustle of downtown Dallas nightlife, it is almost inevitable that a guy or girl will meet someone they like. Two people meet; share an evening of drinks and dancing, and exchange numbers at the end of the night. She calls, after the obligatory three day waiting period, and a series of happy hours, dinners, and maybe even a movie or two follow. Suffice to say that over the course of the next couple of months they begin hooking up.

Story sound familiar? The two enjoy time together and call each other often, but after a period of time in this casual relationship sometimes one party wants more. The problem with this is that after months of hooking up and hanging out, is it possible to create a full blown relationship?

There are differing perspectives about how to create a serious relationship out of a casual one, thus there is no definite answer. Clearly, exclusive relationship potential can only be determined on a case by case basis, but here are some guidelines that may help to reveal official couple potential.

1. Frequency of Contact – Is there contact on a regular basis? Keeping each other updated about life, work, or anything else is a good indicator that they are interested in learning more about the other person. Infrequent and hook-up only contact may mean that he/she wants to remain at a distance and keep the relationship casual.
2. Liking one another – There is a higher likelihood of exclusive relationship development and success if there is mutual liking and affection. Unreciprocated amorous feelings will definitely lead to a rejection of requests for exclusivity.
3. Reaction to questions about relationship status from friends and family – When family or friends bring it up, check out the other person’s reaction. Do they tease that it might happen someday or do they quickly answer with a stern never going to happen type answer? Their response, body language, and overall reaction may indicate whether they are open to the idea of being a couple.
4. Future plans – Plans for future events, family gatherings, holidays, or vacations together is a good sign of couple potential. Planning for the future may signify that they do not see the relationship ending in the near future. However, absence of future plans does not mean that there is no hope, nor does it guarantee relationship bliss.
5. Exclusivity – Is he/she seeing other people? This is not an overall determining factor, but it does help. If yes, this may mean that they are not interested in becoming serious. On the other hand, not seeing others may mean that they already see the relationship as exclusive.

No matter what the situation, appreciate that it is better to ask and know if a serious relationship can develop rather than remain longing and unfulfilled. Be prepared to hear an answer that does not meet expectations, and understand that the relationship may change. Finally, remember that each pair is different and should evaluate their exclusive relationship potential on an individual basis.
 

For more info: Check out my other article on Being honest in a relationship, or find out more about Casual Dating to a Relationship and Casual sex to serious relationship.

Comments

  • joe blow from cocomo 5 years ago

    Joe blow from cocomo here,
    you should talk about one night stands.. and how to make them happen

  • cliffe 3 years ago

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