Movie Review: 'Season of the Witch'

Welcome to January, otherwise known as “dump month” for studios, for it is in this very month where studios dump films that they realize have little to no chance of succeeding at the box office and will more than likely be trashed by critics. It comes as no surprise that this film actually has a troubled history. It was originally at Lionsgate, then pulled from release and shifted to its current home at Relativity Media. Apparently Relativity finally saw the film and decided that the best way to get rid of it was to put it in the January void. What else could they do with such a film?

It begins with a quick prologue in which three witches are being hung from a bridge, but one of them comes back to life and escapes. The story then shifts to a pair of knights, Behmen (Nicolas Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman), who are fighting in the Crusades. After a montage in which we are shown their many battles, the two suddenly develop consciences, declaring that they don’t want to slaughter people anymore. Better late than never.

During their travels, they stop in a town where they are discovered to be deserters, but before being thrown in prison, a priest asks them to come with him to a cardinal (Christopher Lee) who is dying of the plague. He offers them the chance to go on a mission in which they must deliver a supposed witch (Claire Foy) to a monastery where she will be put on trial. After some initial hesitation, they decide to go on the mission in order to clear themselves of desertion charges. Also at this monastery is the last known copy of a special holy book that contains incantations, one of which could be the last hope for the accused witch.

Let’s get right to the point with this film. It’s mind-numbingly dull and moves at a snail’s pace. I hate to use these as the chief complaints, but along with the D.O.A. screenplay, these are the main problems. The most this movie has to offer in the way of excitement are some quick, senseless battles at the beginning and another quick, swiftly-edited battle at the end. A majority of its runtime is filled with uninteresting banter between the two main characters, neither of whom have anything interesting to say to each other.

The addition of more characters to the mix later on does nothing to improve this as the dialogue almost entirely consists of what they need to be doing, which becomes a small source of disagreement and conflict among the travelers at certain points. Sadly, this is the most interesting conflict to be found as the most conflict we get on their journey to the monastery consists of a rickety rope bridge over a chasm and a creepy forest inhabited by a pack of wolves.

The filmmakers try to use special effects to cover up the weaknesses of the story, but even on that point they fail pretty badly. The wolves in the creepy woods were not very convincing and the demon they end up facing at the end of the film is even less so. The latter was actually done so badly that it came off as more comical than as the terrifying creature they were going for in an attempt to build a decent climax.

Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman do what they can with their incredibly flat characters, but it’s apparent that they are aware of how lame this material is. There is absolutely no development to be found for their characters, other than the miraculous development of their consciences after so many bloody battles. Neither of these guys even look like they belong anywhere near a battlefield, which only goes to make their characters appear that much more unconvincing.

The screenplay is by Bragi Schut and is his first attempt at a feature film. Hopefully he’ll learn from this disaster and improve his skills before his next attempt. However, the director, Dominic Sena, who has given us such “classics” as Whiteout, Gone in 60 Seconds, and Swordfish, has apparently not learned very much at all. In this sense, he and Cage are the perfect duo. Sena, like Cage of late, has not been a particularly good judge of material and refuses to learn from his mistakes. If they would, perhaps they could reteam and get on the track to making something good together. Better late than never. 1.5/4 stars.

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