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Latest Rolling Stone hit piece on guns presents ridiculous and incomplete list

With Rolling Stone against them, and outlining such formidable plans, gun owners may as well just give up now!
With Rolling Stone against them, and outlining such formidable plans, gun owners may as well just give up now!
Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris

When it comes to guns, Rolling Stone is on a ...uh... roll of late.

We covered a fawning Michael Bloomberg interview that unwittingly exposed the billionaire citizen disarmament cult leader’s elitism and snobbery, and then pointed out how it revealed his continued “sexual blind spot.”

We’ve been made aware of a recent pictorial “news” piece titled “The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America,” claiming “These are the firearms causing the most harm.” That it is evil, abusive and negligent people causing harm seems a mere matter of semantics when there’s an agenda to be pushed. The harm-causing inanimate objects are, respectively, pistols, revolvers, rifles, shotguns and derringers, leaving one to wonder what “reporter” Kristen Gwynne would leave us with if she had her druthers. She answers that in her next slide show, which she claims is “a profoundly powerful argument for stricter gun control laws.”

I guess she means to leave us with nothing. When you can demonize them all, I guess you just ignore that “weapons of choice” argument that can otherwise prove so useful to incremental gun-banners.

And wait, as late TV pitchman Billy Mays used to say, there’s more! Now that Rolling Stone has discovered Larry Pratt and Gun Owners of America, they’re able to go into full SPLC paint “gun extremists” as “haters” mode.

But hot off the presses comes what Eric Reed at BuzzPo calls “The Dark Depths Gun-Grabbers go to Achieve Gun Control,” referencing yet another Rolling Stone jeremiad/tutorial ambitiously titled “How to Beat the NRA In 7 (Not-So-Easy) Steps: The gun lobby seems like a Goliath, but here's how to play David,” written by Portland Oregon-based contributing editor Tim Dickinson (who is also author of a gushing Barack Obama tribute and a Mother Jones contributor, so at least we know he’ll be a fair and balanced subject matter expert.)

Having a passing acquaintance with playing that role, I’d like to test his steps, just to see if there’s anything, you know, original there, as opposed to regurgitated talking points, repetition of failed strategies, and general fantasy thinking that so often defines “progressives’ in general and anti-gun males in particular.

Right off the bat, I’m not hopeful. Or I should say “bats,” a gaggle of ‘em, holding stupid slogan signs attacking the rationality of others and repeating “statistics” gleaned straight from the Violence Policy Center playbook (and we’ve seen how reliable those can be). But in fairness, I can’t say that Rolling Stone authors pick the photos that go with their articles, so let’s just examine Dickinson’s recommendations.

Step One – We shall overcome some day: We saw Brady Campaign founding predecessor Nelson “Pete Shields” of Handgun Control, Inc., make a similar point back in 1976 as the way violence monopolists would eventually get a total handgun ban. With successes like that, why would I want to argue? Thing is, some of us aren’t exactly short-termers ourselves.

Step Two – Use the “home rule” strategy: While Dickinson hero Obama distracts everyone with fraudulent deceptions like “What works in Chicago may not work in Cheyenne” (while doing his utmost to impose disarmament on Everytown everywhere), why not let states and municipalities ignore the Second Amendment to the Bill of Rights, just like “progressives” would have the feds do with all the other provisions? Besides, if the locals expose subversion, or successfully fight back against politicians whose reach exceeded their grasp, why, they can always be dismissed as roadless rubes.

Step Three – It’s a marvelous night for a blood dance: Why that’s inspired! Who would have ever thought of such a winning strategy -- aside from the same sign-holding bats every time there’s a “gun free zone” atrocity? But then again, what are their chances anyone will ever ask them to a real dance? And how are we ever going to figure out an appropriate way to respond to such a devastating tactic?

Step Four – Leap before you look: “When catastrophic events like Newtown unfold, there's an impulse ... to gather facts,” Dickinson bemoans. Hey, nothing says effective activism like ignoring reality and devolving straight into a shrieking bipolar frenzy. Every authority I’ve ever heeded on crisis management says the most effective emergency response involves listening to that voice urging a hysterical breakdown!

Step Five – Roll out the Astroturf: When you don’t have grassroots, it helps to have a billionaire benefactor, even if he is a weird and vindictive little alien child. Never mind that the bus tours had to hide their schedules so the subsidized protestors wouldn’t be outnumbered by the roadless rubes. There’s nothing quite like having the dough to produce and air commercials where you encourage ignorant children to play with dildos, which, come to think of it, is a pretty good analogy for the MILMs.

Step Six – Wish that Astroturf into grassroots. Click your heels and repeat “There’s no place like Everytown”: Yeah, sure, they “claim two million members.” I could tell from those Bloomberg bus tours. Or from the way the antis gave us a run for our money in Indianapolis. And I’m sure an UNarmed American Radio program, syndicated in markets nationwide, will be announced any day now. Maybe this hate-filled “self-syndicated” loon nobody but doctrinaire Prozis listen to can step up to the mike and enjoy the same success as Air America. And say ... how are those reader comments on the Bloomberg interview, the Pratt hit piece, and your Seven Step Program working out for Rolling Stone?

Step Seven – We’ll always have sour grapes and promises of revenge: And nothing appeals to a career politician like urging him to fall on his sword! That’s terrific. Thank you, Timmah! I endorse Step Seven!

But that’s it? Somehow, the list seems incomplete. Not to be presumptuous, because I so respect Rolling Stone on guns (and gosh, on everything), but I do have two additions I think will help round things out.

Step Eight – Issue “surrender or be destroyed” and ”resistance is futile” Borg ultimatums: Kind of like that clueless mandarin Mike Lawlor did in Connecticut, before realizing that would result in a noncompliance rate massively beyond the state’s ability to enforce, no matter how much Fourth Estate Fifth Columnists demanded otherwise.

Step Nine – Be astonished when intended victims do not go gentle into that good night. Scoff at that if you like, remind everyone about government nukes, scream “Insurrection!” and “Treason!” if it makes you feel better, but we’re pretty inured to name-calling by now, and the fact is, some of us, perhaps three percent of gun owners, aren’t going to back up another step, not one more inch, and will continue to DRES for success.

How many of us are you willing to have the state try to kill to bend us to your will? You might want to flesh out the next seven steps if you ever attain a 90+ percent noncompliance rate nationwide, instead of just in an over-reaching Red State or two.

What’s the plan for when millions of fed up gun owners tell everyone like you where to go and what you can do with yourselves once you get there -- like I'm doing now? Any chance you and some of your Rolling Stone comrades will accompany any of the raid teams?


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Sure we won Heller and McDonald, but what have the black robes done for us lately? My latest GUNS Magazine "Rights Watch" column is online, and you can read it well before the issue hits the stands. Click here to read "Full Court Press.”


My latest JPFO Alert notes a cheap trick monopoly of violence con artists pull to delude marks into believing that more tyranny makes things safer for us all. See “'Gun Death' Rate Scams Designed to Defraud Public Out of Rights.”


Don’t like the latest Supreme Court ruling? My newest entry in The Shooter’s Log recommends “To Prevent Another ‘Abramski,’ Get in the Fight.”

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