Shocked, I am shocked and I'm sure all you fight fans are as well.
Apparently, at least in the camp of Julio Cesar Chavez Jr., there has been boxing training going on in the midst of marijuana smoking.
Junior got nailed, according to news reports on Tuesday, for doing the whacky tobacky whilst ostensibly prepping for the pretty one-sided (save for Round 12) spanking he got from Sergio Martinez.
Come to think of it, or speaking blunt-ly, I did think it was odd that Young Chavez first asked for "anything by the Doobie Brothers" for his ring walk music.
This story threatens to turn into a reprise of an old Cheech & Chong routine ("Dave's not here, man!"), as it continues to develop.
Who knew Mary Jane was so powerful that it could empower you to nearly knockout a super ring stud such as Bike Racer Sergio in the final minutes of a 36-minute exercise?
(Oh, yeah, bike racing, there's a clean sport.)
Funniest reaction, it figures, come from Bob Arum, 81 year old seen it all, smoked it all promoter for Chavez. Uncle Bob, who once played a drug agent seeking nefarious weed whacking dudes in a low budget Jamaican film , said he can't get excited about a failed marijuana test.
Here's Arum speaking to the Los Angeles Times:
"You certainly worry about the repercussions, but we have a great commission in Nevada that understands what the social issues are," Arum said. "As far as I'm concerned, marijuana should be legal and you can quote me on that."
(Arum said he's been told Chavez Jr. smoked marijuana "three weeks to a month out of breaking camp because he was having trouble sleeping … it was therapeutic use for insomnia.")
"I'm making a moral judgment," he said. "It's legal in California … it has therapeutic effects. I'm not going to step back on this one: I don't think there's anything wrong with marijuana, and if I had a vote, I'd vote to legalize it. Let's not be sanctimonious here."
Bob's right on, you smoke the Maui Zowie, you get hungry, not excited.
Tio Roberto also asserted that no boxing promoter could pass the marijuana exam, either, and I know he's 100 percent correct on that.
I urge all you other blunt-sucking, doobie-rolling, promoters to turn yourself in asap.
I will be happy to arrange a "voluntary surrender" at the Nevada State Athletic Commission.
And let's get rid of the double standard where the promoters can get zonked while the fighters are supposed to fore go their mellow mood enhancers.
Only then can ring announcer Michael Buffer issue the battle call:
"Let's get ready for the munchies!"