Dr. Christiane Northrup
One thing seems clear after watching last week’s “Oprah Winfrey Show” on how to talk to your daughters about sex.
We women tend to place judgment on our natural sexuality.
During the show sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman explained that it’s important for young girls to learn what stimulates them physically, so they do not mistakenly identify that sexual pleasure as love when they are with boys.
That’s heavy stuff, but that’s exactly what many girls do. And by the time they become adults, many feel less empowered about their sexuality. Many, like some in last week’s audience, are even uncomfortable saying certain sexual words out loud.
Women can transform their lives by owning their sensuality, says New York Times bestselling author Dr. Christiane Northrup. The author's many books include "Mother-Daughter Wisdom" and her latest, "The Secret Pleasures of Menopause."
In a recent interview, she told me why It’s important to know what feels good to you, be it food, sex or what makes you laugh.
“The body has the ability to experience unlimited pleasure,” she said. “but in order to do that you have to switch off the automatic pilot, and you have to literally turn your attention to what’s working for you and what feels good.”
Northrup says by the age of menopause many women are finally ready to do that. It’s the women over 50 who are having the most fun, she said. They have more self-esteem and trust themselves more than they ever did.
In “The Secret Pleasues of Menopause,” Northrup gets specific on how to re-wire your body for sensuality. For instance, have a massage; rub your feet down at the end of the day; devote some time to pleasuring yourself sexually.
That other “M” word is less of a taboo these days, Northrup says.
“We have so much guilt around this, but our vitality is enhanced by this practice. Women should try to do this twice a week. It’s actually bringing the life force up to your body consciously,” she said. “Sexuality and spirituality have been completely disconnected and although they are two different things, they are exactly the same thing.”
Teens on last week’s "Oprah" show said their friends are “sexting,” and having intercourse and oral sex (some girls start as early as middle school). Girls give in to boys because if they don’t, the boys move on to a girl who will, they said.
It seems like a good time to “re-wire” girls minds, as Northrup suggests.
It seems like a good time to stay connected to their self-esteem and let them know that their value as a person is not wrapped up in whether or not they have sex.
It seems like a good time to let girls know that it’s okay to get to know their own bodies.
It seems like a good time to teach young girls the value of putting themselves first.
Maybe teenage years versus menopause years is a good time to learn these things.
Comments
We have to demystify sex for our children so they can develop healthy sexual lives. However, it's very difficult in this culture to do so. We still struggle to accept sex as a natural activity. You can see all manner of violence on television, but the earth stood still when Janet showed a nipple for less than a second.
I think this is so very important. It seems that many parents are more afraid of sexual straight talk with their daughters, than saying little or nothing, knowing (but not wanting to acknowledge) they will be sexually active with their male classmates. Waiting till their older is going to be too late, as it's much harder to change a mindset, than create one.
I found that many girls growing up in Hawaii, with a far more open & natural atmosphere regarding sex, had far less esteem issues & sexual hang-ups. Our society tells us sex is taboo, or "dirty", yet sex & sexuality is everywhere, a potent recipe for conflict & confusion.
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