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In the dark

A blossom grows in its own darkness before it opens to the sun.
Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC photo

Yesterday I awoke with a migraine and a sore back. My fiancé was out of town so my night was restless. As I stepped out of bed feeling tired, I thought about my very long “to do” list. I had to work hard to gather my energy in order to get things done and feel productive. Yes, I have this somewhat warped sense about me where I must “feel productive” each and every day; it is hard for me to gift myself with downtime. I also felt nervous about the bad weather forecast because my son was flying in mid-day from out West. Later, I was grateful to pick him up from the airport and that the storm had held off in order for him to touch down safely.

As the sky opened and released its fury, during the winds and torrential downpours, I lost my power. It was just after 6PM when the electricity went out. Feeling frustrated and powerless, figuratively and literally, I decided to thank the universe for a very rare and welcomed nap; I slept for over 2 hours.

Why is it that it takes an act of God in order for me not to feel guilty about taking a nap? I wondered, is this a mom thing, a woman thing, a Kathy thing or just a human thing?

Something I can say about the Internet, whatever the problem, with just a few short keystrokes, it was easy to discover that I’m not alone; this is not just a Kathy thing!

Like most everything I’ve shared in this column, it really does come down to how we look at things, our perspective. In a posting on TheSba.com, it describes Ways To have The Most Productive Downtime Ever. As the article shares, it is unrealistic for anyone to believe, when feeling exhausted, he or she is at his or her best. Instead of avoiding downtime, it talks about committing to it, guilt-free, with intent. Why, because we’ll be more productive for it.

Needless to say, I didn’t get my electricity back until the next day. After my nap I spent a lot of time, in the dark, thinking about my routine and, as my eyes adjusted, I realized in order to embrace a healthier me, I need to start adding downtime to my “to do” list.

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