Marni Kinrys is the founder of The Wing Girl Method. For years she has helped thousands of guys attract their dream girls. Because Marni is a woman herself, she has insider knowledge on how women think and what women want. Having Marni in your corner is like having a secret weapon to understanding women.
If you are anything like me, then you probably dream about finding a girl gamer who ultimately becomes your girlfriend. But how does one avoid simply getting "friend zoned?" Is it possible to meet girls on Xbox LIVE without looking desperate or creepy? I sat down with Marni and asked her thoughts on these matters.
Alex: Many gamers have a problem getting "friend zoned" with girls they like. How can they avoid this happening?
Marni: By not acting like a "friend" to a girl they want to sleep with or be with. I actually have a really great article that I just wrote on the differences between friends and lovers and I think it's soooo important for guys to know the difference. It will help them the next time they are with a girl that they are attracted to because they'll automatically know how to act with her. You can see it here: www.winggirlmethod.com/the-difference-between-friend-and-lover.
One other thing that I wanted to point out is that "friends zone" isn't really the friends zone. It's the "I don't feel anything sexual for you because you're not really being yourself around me zone." A lot of guys go into "best boyfriend" mode when they are around a girl that they like which means they do their best to show this girl that they would be the BEST boyfriend ever. What they end up actually doing is become complacent, do-gooders who put that women on a pedestal. They don't speak their minds, they are always available, and they never ask for what they want. The exact opposite to what women are looking for in a man.
So if guys want to avoid getting into the "friends zone" they gotta stop acting like fearful friends who are nervous to rock the boat and show a girl who they actually are. And they have to start acting like sexy men that they are.
Alex: What if it's already too late? How do you get OUT of the friend zone? Is it even possible?
Marni: It's never too late to get out of the friend zone. All you gotta do is start switching up your behavior. Make sure to not turn into an angry, frustrated jerk with a woman who you have been friended by. Instead, just switch up your behavior so that you are no longer acting like this "faux, best boyfriend" or "friend." Instead, act like a guy who has the intention of dating this girl rather than just braiding her hair. You can also speak up and tell a woman what you want. Don't emotionally dump on her, but tell her what you want and see if she wants it too. If YES, then great! You can explore a new side to your "friendship." If not, then it's time to separate and move on. If what you actually want is to be with this girl then it wasn't ever a real friendship anyway.
Alex: If a girl enjoys playing video games, would playing games together make for a good date or is that too "friendish" of an activity?
Marni: OMG yes but you gotta make it fun and challenging while you do. Add some playfulness to video game playing. For example, play strip Mario Brothers or World of Warcraft. Or if you win she is your slave for a day and has to do whatever you say. The only one who puts you in the friend zone is YOU, so as long as you're not acting "friendly" you'll be all good!
Alex: Can a girl develop feelings for you if she doesn't have them now?
Marni: Yep. I had that happen several times. In fact it happened with my man right now. We had a friendship at first and then one day, I started to see him differently. The thing is that he never acted "best boyfriend" around me or "friendly." There was always something that didn't fully label him as a friend. He teased me and challenged me and certainly DID NOT agree with everything that I said. So he was always able to maintain some level of separation between friend and lover which made it an easy transfer. If you want a girl to develop sexual feelings for you, then you gotta switch up your behavior so that she will start to see you in a whole new light. For women, it's about feeling you and if you give her sexual feelings, she'll think of you that way.
Alex: What about meeting someone online. Is it possible to meet a girl over Xbox LIVE for example?
Marni: Of course! The best time and place to meet women is when you aren't trying to meet women. Doing something that you love and love together is a great bonding point. Most people meet others either through friends or doing something they enjoy. It's the best foundation. It also puts you in your comfort zone so you can be your best self. Just make sure you don't get stuck just talking about Xbox LIVE cause that will get really boring and will turn a woman off. You gotta be about more than just video games.
Alex: How do you move things to the next step like meeting in person?
Marni: By asking to meet in person. The only way to get what you want is by asking for it. But do it because YOU want and don't do it because you are eager and nervous that you're going to lose attraction if you don't.
Alex: What about girls who get hit on all the time. How can a guy distinguish himself from just being "another face in the crowd" so to speak?
Marni: By not being just another face in the crowd. Be interesting and share information with women. Don't overly share but show a woman who you are so that she can see (in a limited amount of time) that you are different.
For more advice visit www.winggirlmethod.com.