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GOP Rep. Steve Stockman introduces 'The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act'

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If it's good enough for Lois Lerner and the IRS, then it's good enough for the American people. At least that's the idea behind a new resolution put forward by Rep. Steve Stockman, R-Texas. Under his new "The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act," announced on Friday, taxpayers can use the same flimsy excuses the Obama administration uses.

“The United States was founded on the belief government is subservient and accountable to the people. Taxpayers shouldn’t be expected to follow laws the Obama administration refuses to follow themselves,” Stockman said. “Taxpayers should be allowed to offer the same flimsy, obviously made-up excuses the Obama administration uses.”

Under his resolution, taxpayers who do not provide documents demanded by the IRS can use any of the following excuses:

  1. The dog ate my tax receipts
  2. Convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction
  3. Traded documents for five terrorists
  4. Burned for warmth while lost in the Yukon
  5. Left on table in Hillary’s Book Room
  6. Received water damage in the trunk of Ted Kennedy’s car
  7. Forgot in gun case sold to Mexican drug lords
  8. Forced to recycle by municipal Green Czar
  9. Was short on toilet paper while camping
  10. At this point, what difference does it make?

The measure comes one week after the IRS refused to turn over emails from former Exempt Organizations Divison director Lois Lerner. Those emails, Stockman said in his press release, would have implicated agency personnel in illegal targeting of citizens critical of President Barack Obama.

But a funny thing happened to those emails. Suddenly, the House learned they were lost in a hard drive crash. Worse yet, no backups are available, despite federal laws requiring the retention of certain documents.

As usual, Republicans are attempting to get to the bottom of the scandal, white Democrats and the White House dismiss it as a GOP conspiracy.

“I think that many Republicans in Congress, at least, particularly in the House, have demonstrated a pretty aggressive appetite for investigating this issue,” said White House spokesman Josh Earnest. “There have been a large number of claims and conspiracy theories that have been floated about this process by Republicans that just have not panned out, frankly.”

Stockman says that if Democrats are willing to give the IRS and Lois Lerner so much latitude, they should be willing to extend it to the rest of the American people.

The resolution says that "unless and until the Internal Revenue Service produces all documentation demanded by subpoena or otherwise by the House of Representatives, or produces an excuse that passes the red face test," taxpayers should be allowed to use flimsy excuses as well.

"In any case," Stockman concluded, "IRS can see the NSA for a good, high quality copy."

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