Fetish Friday: Erotic humiliation by urination and defecation

When people think of a sexual fetish, they often conjure images of bizarre contraptions used to bind a sex partner or strange toys designed to go "where no man has gone before".  Although strange to some, these things are considered mostly harmless and all in good fun.  However, there is a flip side to fetish, a darker side; a side where some find sexual gratification only through ritual humiliation involving waste body fluids and solids.

Have I got your attention yet?  For those who find gratification, even reach orgasm only through being degraded by another in this macabre fashion might be a bit much for most to grasp, but both of these forms of humiliation have been around for a thousand years.

• The Golden Shower - Also called Urolagnia (from the Greek ouron, meaning urine, and lagneia, meaning lust), this is the condition whereby a person experiences sexual arousal from either urinating on his/herself, or watching/feeling another urinate.  The arousal may stem from the visual aspect, the feeling of warm liquid on the body, or the scent of urine.  Some even become aroused by the taste of it.  In BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sado- Masochism) play, it is used as a form of punishment via the humiliation of causing one to wet oneself.  In such play, a dominant deprives a person of bladder release until a state of infantilism is reached, thereby causing the person to lose control of his/her bladder.  This is always consensual between the dominant and submissive.
• Erotic Humiliation by Defecation - Much like the Golden Shower, the act of either defecating, or being defecated on during sexual play is another extreme form of erotic humiliation.  Consenting to be dominated sexually through defecation, or urination, is a way for that person to psychologically escape from responsibility for the acts, but gain sexual stimulation at the same time.  Some times, the demeaning act is coupled with sexual acts creating the type of foreplay this individual needs to reach orgasm.  If the play becomes too physically or emotionally stressful, is pushed too far, a safe word must needs be established prior to beginning so that a level of comfort can be regained. 

On the reverse side, those who are performing the degrading acts (the dominant) reaps the benefit of being the one in control. 

Such play becomes a fetish because it is sexualizing completely non-sexual acts.  Most people aren't thinking of sex when they need to pee or poo!  In fact, most folks seek to completely separate these acts from sex by way of never letting their partner see them in the bathroom. 

For those who enjoy erotic humiliation, it is their way of feeding into an emotional need to be either less important/loved/appreciated (for a slew of personal reasons) or treated as more important/loved/appreciated (perhaps because they work for a jerk, weren't loved enough as a child, or feel slighted by people in general).  There are as many reason as their are grains of sand in my bikini bottoms while on vacation at the beach!

If your partner requests either of these forms of sexual humiliation, and you are uncomfortable with it, be open to having a conversation about why he/she wishes you to do this.  It takes great courage for anyone to make their deepest, darkest desires known no matter what they are, so don't just laugh it off or make judgmental faces which could ultimately hurt your partners feelings.  Hear him/her out.  If it's still not your cup of tea, politely decline.  If you find that you're game, make sure to first try such things in an easy-to-clean area such as the shower or tub. It's also important to devise that safe word which can be used if one or the other feels things are going too far.  The ultimate goal in BDSM or erotic humiliation is personal enjoyment, not being forced to endure an uncomfortable situation where only one partner finds gratification.

BDSM guide for San Antonio/Austin

Ms. Elorin/Dominatrix - San Antonio

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All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be re-posted whole without written consent by the author. Partial re-posting with a link back to the original article is permitted. For consent, questions, or comments, email megwynn@msn.com.

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In addition to this local column, and her work as a Freelance Journalist in San Antonio, Michele Gwynn is also the National Animal Rights Examiner. Her love of pets began at an early age with a stray cat named Harvey, and a dying field mouse named Tucker. She is a pet parent to four cats, and an animal rights champion to all critters, large and small. Visit her animal rights column here.

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