What is the most terrifying organization on the face of the earth right now? Those who guess the KGB would be wrong, although there are some suspicions these days they may be giving our former National Security Agency analyst Edward Snowden a rough interrogation since he landed in Moscow. And although the NSA has received more publicity this summer for prying into the lives of American citizens, they are nowhere near the top of the list organizations which strike fear into the hearts of grown men and women.
And while the North Korean military under the direction of the latest dictator causes Americans concern when he points missiles in the direction of North America and threatens to launch a nuclear attack, he's not at the very top of the list by any stretch. We've been able to dispatch goodwill ambassador and former NBA star Dennis Rodman to the Asian country to calm the stormy seas over there. Since Rodman has been applying his diplomatic skills to the North Koreans things seem to have calmed down considerably. Is it possible Rodman is the solution to our foreign policy woes? Is he the next Henry Kissinger? But that'a a discussion for another day. The Iranian military-khomeini complex which is reportedly developing nuclear weapons would be a good guess as the scariest organization since it might lead us directly into Armageddon.
But the biggest threat according to a breaking news report from Dallas WFAA-TV News is the Roofing Police of Celina, Texas which has intimidated homeowners in that area. That's right....citizens of the prosperous community near Dallas have been terrorized by the appearance of representatives of this regime at the front doors demanding that they......and this is difficult to digest.....change the color of their rooves!
That is correct. According to the Dallas ABC news affiliate, gray is in and brown is out when it comes to the color of a homeowner's roof. Homeowners of Celina beware!
Representatives of the Carter Homeowners Association of Celina, Tex. normally appear in pairs like real police officers do. But they have even more power than regular police like the Dallas Police Department. While the real police are limited by technicalities such as search warrants and the Fourth Amendment, the Roof Police have no such boundaries to inhibit them.
They may stroll down your street, glance up at your roof and if they see something they don't like they can fine you into oblivion and even foreclose on your home! That's right, better check and see if there are any vacancies in the nearest homeless shelters because if your roof doesn't fit, the Roof Police will be at your doorstep!
Lest anyone think this is a laughing matter, homeowners association attorney Judd Austin takes shingles as a very serious matter. And while he says foreclosure is unlikely he does concede it is within the power of the Roof Police (hereafter referred to as RP).
The RP have engaged in a legal skirmish with David and Melinda Hawkins who have the misfortune of living under the regime of the Carter Homeowners Association. When their roof was destroyed by hail last year, the couple conferred with the dreaded "architecture comittee" before purchasing a beautiful brown roof for their dream house. Even the neighbor across the street said she liked it.
But that didn't matter to the RP who have powers comparable to the "Star Chamber". They paid an uninvited visit to the Hawkins and informed them their roof didn't comply to standards and the full force of the RP would descend upon them if they didn't change their roof. When the Hawkins showed some backbone and said no, the RP started issuing daily fines of $25 which increased to $50 a day and eventually to $500 a day.
Is there a chance we may see the Roof Police in the U.S. Supreme Court someday soon fighting over the appropriate color for all homes in the US? Let's hope the Hawkins family is not punished too harshly for the crime of having a brown roof on their abode.
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