What resonates in you when you read this BrainyQuotes.com quote from Henry Ward Beecher? “I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive...”
You’ve heard this before; forgiveness is a necessary step for you to release anger, which is toxic when held within. And, anger is really just covering up hurt buried beneath.
As communicated by author Leis B. Smedes, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
One of the most horrific human feelings is the impact of betrayal. As defined by vocabulary.com, “It means an act of deliberate disloyalty.” Connection in a raw state of being opens the spirit and manifests sacred space. But, when someone recklessly abandons you with a venomous intent, it manifests poison.
Even the most balanced person can be knocked off of his or her feet by the wrath of betrayal. Friends or, at least you thought he or she was a friend, turn into enemies in a moment’s time.
William Blake once said, “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” Why, because you expect an enemy to be hateful but a friend, this person should have your back, not put a knife in it.
Forgiveness is difficult but should you really forget? Doesn’t the experience of forgiveness change you? And, if you are changed, do you really want to forget the cause of this change?
The answer here is found within the healing process. If you have fully forgiven you are not reminding this person continuously of the incident. But, you are empowered by the process. This means the new you is now armed with the wisdom of this experience. Your hurt is dissolved and perhaps you acknowledge some part of this wrongdoing, this might be ownership of enabling the dysfunction or being naive. You didn’t deserve the trauma nor are you approving their action, you are just accepting that this negative energy is harmful and you are reshaping it to serve you.
Katherine Ponder offered this, "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." If this person is not in your life today, do you really want this karmic tie to him or her?