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Answering Pascal's Wager

Blaise Pascal remains famous for his "wager" that bets on an eternity with a God who rewards belief.
Blaise Pascal remains famous for his "wager" that bets on an eternity with a God who rewards belief.
Rendering: Public Domain

If you're sick of hearing Pascal's Wager (by name or not) every time you tell someone you're an atheist, I have developed this astonishingly witty response for you. Enjoy:

"Oh no! But I heard there's a God bigger and better than the God of the Bible, who has a Hell that's hotter than yours and an eternity that's longer. And He said he'd send me to Hell if I do believe in Him! And His punishment is worse. Therefore, I, by necessity must selfishly save myself (as you are doing) by choosing not to believe. But thank you for supporting my logic. I thought I was the only one."


  • SG 5 years ago

    Wow that covers all the bases, including the whole idea of "choosing" to believe.

  • Ross 5 years ago

    Ha ha, that's great! That will save me the trouble of laboriously going through all the problems with that tired argument (e.g. other gods to consider, God seeing through the "spiritual insurance" ruse, and the impossibility of deciding to believe something one does not already believe).

  • Carrie Poppy 5 years ago

    @Ross: Right! And the fact that postulating that someone can punish you for "eternity" makes no sense-- but that someone can punish you for *longer* than eternity makes no less sense in the real world.

    @SG: Glad I could serve!

  • Cthulu Don't Call 5 years ago

    Ever heard of Cthulu? Probably the only god scarier than Jehovah/Allah the Demiurge.

  • Andy Breeden 3 years ago

    You know, Carrie, when I use this, I'm gonna act like I thought it up.

  • Anonymous 3 years ago

    I usually tell them that the superior god has given me power of attorny to override your god, thus if you don't believe in me then then you'll burn in hellisher hell. If you believe in your god , then you'll burn in big hell. If you believe in the superior god , then you burn in lesser hell.There is a way out however, if you believe in no god, but helping humanity , sacrificing yourself for betterment of others , then you will left alone to betterment.This is still work in progress. I still work thru many breakfast and lunches, negiating with super god (goddess actually) and I might. be able wheel and deal a better deal. I am working on trying to get air conditioned condos ih hell for atheists like me. It's down to who'd pay for ice.

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