Great sex doesn’t just happen like it does in the movies. While it may be challenging to communicate your sexual desires to your Beloved, it is absolutely necessary! Often times we set our relationships up for failure because we don’t to talk to our partners. We just “expect” them to somehow know everything about us. Don’t expect your Beloved to be a mind reader! You have to communicate with each other about what turns you on and off because what worked with one partner may or may not necessarily do it for the current partner. Be very specific about what you need. Rather than criticizing your Beloved about the things that you don’t like, instead tell them what feels good and that you want more of it. You can also take their hands and gently guide them to your “hot spots.”
Knowing is half the battle! Don’t assume or pretend to know what your partner needs. When in doubt ask questions; preferably before sex and not during because that can certainly spoil the mood! Try not to become offended when your Beloved tells you his or her desires. It’s not a slam against you; but rather a suggestion on how to increase their pleasure. After all your focus is to have the best sex possible right? Be open to loving suggestions from your partner!
Sharing your sexual desires will not only enhance your relationship in and out of the bedroom but it can also create an unparalleled level of intimacy between you and your Beloved. Your willingness to explore sexual desires together can take you into exciting new territory far away from your old, boring sex script.
2. Don’t forget the foreplay
Sometimes a quickie is great but nevertheless, don’t forget the foreplay! Women need foreplay to help get their natural juices flowing. In addition, foreplay helps to lengthen the vagina so that she is able to welcome your manhood into her sanctuary. Now I know you’re probably thinking that foreplay takes way too long. Well it’s time for you to think outside the box! Foreplay can begin long before the bedroom romp-a-rama session. Build excitement and anticipation throughout the day so that by the time you’re ready to do the horizontal mambo, she’s literally dripping wet for you. And ladies don’t be too selfish, men like foreplay too! Leave his favorite pair of your sexy undies in his pocket so he can find it later! Greet him at the door in a Dominatrix outfit ready to subdue him with your feminine prowess or get him all cleaned up and prepared for sex wearing a sexy French maid outfit!
3. Add Variety
Variety is the spice of life! It may be cliché but yet so true! Any great chef knows that it’s the variety of seasonings, textures and flavors that makes the dining experience great. The same thing is true for sex! It’s easy to get stuck in the same old boring sex rut but now it’s time for you to spice things up a bit! Positively persuade your partner into trying something new. Make an adventure out of it by planning a fun day trip. Start your blood flowing by getting a couples’ massage, get up close and personal during a boudoir photo shoot, visit an adult novelty and purchase a fun new sex toy or rent a sexy adult movie, and end your evening with a passionate night of lovemaking. Can’t think of any new positions? Pick up a book on Kama Sutra or Tantric Sex to help increase your intimate, emotional and spiritual connection.
Still not sure what to do? Take a sex education class or workshop. Check out Beautifully Me, llc at www.beautifully-me.com for some a list of exciting “lovers games” or enlist the help of a certified sex therapist, counselor or educator. Visit Sexpertly Yours, TaMara at www.sexpertlyyourstamara.com
4. Practice Makes Perfect
"If at first you don’t succeed then try, try again! To be the best at anything you must learn all the tricks of the trade…pun intended! You must hone your skills and perfect your craft to get it right. Sex isn’t any different, especially if it’s with a new. All the great athletes, entertainers and entrepreneurs did not become the greatest overnight nor did they experience success without discipline, study and practice. If you want to perform better sexually, it’s going to take some work and maybe even learning some new things. To further our careers and to cultivate our growth, we attend professional developments classes to enhance our skills. Because our bodies, lives and sex will change overtime, we need to be continuous learners. So grab your lube, toys, imagination and partner because school is in session!