“Men are very simple. They respond to the simple things of life. They respond to the power of touch. They respond to words that, for lack of a better term, build up their ego and make them feel important, especially in today’s world which is busily tearing them down. These days when a woman approaches a man in a positive way, you bet he takes notice!” Dr. Kevin Leman, author of Have a New Husband by Friday.
Whether you're ringing in the New Years in New Jersey or somewhere warm, it's the perfect climate to improve your relationship with your partner. Deep down inside everyone wants a successful and loving relationship. Men want to please their woman (even when they drive you crazy) and women want to make their man happy (yes, even when they are “nagging”).
In Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Husband by Friday, he goes over some great tips on how to make your man happy, which he says will make YOU very happy by turning your marriage into one that is satisfying and loving. If you’re married, single (hey, maybe you’ll be married one day) or in a committed relationship here are 10 secrets to make your man yours forever.
A man needs to feel your respect in order to love you the way you want to be loved. Tell and show your man you respect and admire him. Let him know that you appreciate the things he does for you. Remember, what you do and say must be genuine.
Problem solving is your man’s way of showing he cares. Men like to problem solve. So when your man drives you crazy telling you to do x, y and z in certain situations that’s his way of taking care of the problem and therefore taking care of you. So don’t take it so personally.
Show your man he’s needed. Leman says showing your husband he’s needed is almost an art form. It’s so easy and the results are worth the effort. Leman gives the example of when your hubby comes home in the evening. You say to him, “Honey I’m so glad you’re home. It’s been a really stressful day but all I could think about was coming home to you. I’m so glad I married you.”
Then Leman says, “slip him the commercial.” By that he means ask for what you want. “After you relax would you mind helping Cassie with her homework while I finish up dinner. Then she’ll get to bed on time and we can relax a little together.”
Leman says this is great because 1. You tell him you're glad to see him. 2. You ask for his help with a specific thing. 3. You promised a reward—time with you. According to Leman, your words take so little time but they mean so much.
Sex with your husband is essential to a lasting marriage. Leman says sexual fulfillment affirms the very core of who a man is—it affirms his masculinity. It intensifies his drive to protect you, to take care of you, to love you and to provide for you. According to Leman, if you are intimate with your husband, he will seek no other (chronic cheaters do not apply).
Give direct requests to your man. You need to be direct when expressing what you want, Leman says. Men don’t get hints or subtlety. Be specific and straightforward.
Reinforce good behavior. Leman says when your man is doing something right, reinforce it and tell him how much you appreciate it. Brag about him in front of your friends and family.
Stay concise. Too much yapping will shut down your man’s attention, Leman says. So keep it short and sweet. Similarly, when you “nag” or yell, your man doesn’t hear you. Actually Leman says when you cry or scream your man will shut down and think you’re cuckoo.
Your man wants to please you. Leman urges women to remember this. Men want to please and provide for their woman and when they are unable to do something right, Leman says that is akin to someone telling a woman she’s fat AND ugly. You would take it personally. And they do too.
Tell your man once (or twice) what needs to be done. He knows and he remembers, says Leman, and he will get to it on his own time without having to be reminded 10 times. A great way to ask your man to do something, without coming off as “nagging,” is to write a “Honey to do list,” Leman says. Try it out, it may work for you.
Be selective while dating, but accepting while married. Leman says, date with your eyes wide open, but keep them half closed after you’re married. Ditto.
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