Bob Novak on being ‘The Prince of Darkness’

“All the stars are aligned against the Republicans in 2008,” Bob Novak told the assembled masses at the Americans for Tax Reform’s Wednesday meeting, causing a subtle gasp to leak out of the conservative faithful.

“You’re breaking our rule on being cheerful, Bob,” ATR’s Grover Norquist responded.

“Well, I am the Prince of Darkness,” Novak said, jokingly.

And Novak is embracing his nickname: His latest book, due out in July, is titled, “The Prince of Darkness: 50 Years of Reporting in Washington.”

Novak also weighed in on several potential ’08 candidates:

Al Gore: “He likes being rich ... he likes being an Oscar-winner and I think he likes being fat, too.”

John McCain, at the recent GOP debate in California: “He didn’t look like a winner.”

Mitt Romney: In response to Romney’s performance at the recent GOP debate, Novak said some people told him that Romney “almost looked too perfect.”

Fred Thompson: Novak said that, apparently, people believe that Thompson “did such a good job as the district attorney of New York City that he deserves a chance to be president.”

‘Funniest Fed’ comedy contest kicks off

The six-week Funniest Fed Competition kicked off Wednesday night at the Arlington Cinema ‘n’ Drafthouse with seven contestants vying to advance to round two.

According to observers, the talent on display was impressive — at least for a bunch of mid-level bureaucrats — although a disproportionate amount of material centered on sleeping on the job and misusing government computers.

New Media Strategies’ Howard Mortman, who served as one of three judges for the night, said, “After having been both a judge for the DC’s Funniest Celebrity Contest and now the Funniest Fed Contest, I think the feds are much funnier than all the wannabes who do the Celeb contest.”

In the end, the Environmental Protection Agency’s Jeff Maurer and the Census Bureau’s Shahryar Rizvi advanced on to fight another day. Both were “really polished,” Mortman said.

New slates of contestants will crack wise for the next three Wednesdays, with the winners moving on to round two, then to the finals on June 22. The winner gets a $250 prize and a guest spot at a Comedy Lounge show at the same venue.

“The losers don’t get voted off the island,” Mortman quipped. “Instead, they’re forced to take early retirement buyouts.” Ba-dum-bum.

Princess Haya wows Mosaic Foundation crowd

Twenty-one ambassadors, including 17 from Arab countries, along with Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez, acting Chief of Protocol Ray Martinez and Rep. Nick Rahall, D-W.Va., were among the celebrants on Wednesday for one of diplomatic Washington’s biggest nights.

The Mosaic Foundation’s annual gala, now in its 10th year, is the brainchild of the wives of Arab ambassadors, most of whom were clad in colorful national dress for the event, which this year benefited the World Food Program.

The guest of honor was the beautiful Princess Haya bint al-Hussein of Jordan, wife of the ruler of Dubai, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum. She spoke of the need for education among the world’s poor children, although she acknowledged, “I doubt the average person trying to understand hunger would start by asking royalty about it.” Referencing Marie Antoinette’s infamous line, “Let them eat cake,” she quipped, “We all know what happened next.”

Barrymore, Shields alight in the capital

Seen:

» Actress Drew Barrymore at Fox & Hounds Wednesday night in Dupont Circle. She was in town to discuss Friends of the World Food Program on Capitol Hill Thursday.

» House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and husband Paul dining at Cafe Milano Wednesday night.

» And today, you can catch actress Brooke Shields at a Capitol Hill news conference to introduce the “MOTHERS Act” in the Senate. The legislation would initiate new federal investment in postpartum depression education, detection and treatment programs for new mothers.

Saturday night staffers

Capitol Hill folks (and the people who love them) will head to Cantina Marina Saturday for District Trust Charities D.C. Summer Kick Off to benefit Cure Autism Now.

And you know it’s bound to be a rocking time when Rep. Mary Bono, R-Calif., is the honorary chairwoman. But will she bring boyfriend Rep. Connie Mack, R-Fla.?!? Stay tuned ...

Head to www.districttrustcharities.com for more info.

Speakeasy

“I don’t drive, I navigate.” – Rudy Giuliani, responding to a question about what kind of car he drives.

Ronde Barber (second from left) and Tiki Barber pose with George H.W. and Barbara Bush Wednesday during “A Celebration of Reading,” hosted by Doro Bush Koch at the Music Center at Strathmore. The Barbers, Brad Meltzer and James Baker were among those who read from their books. – Courtesy photo