Spider-Man lassos White House in his web

It’s hard not to think of the Bush administration when thumbing through the latest “The Amazing Spider-Man” comic (#536).

First, some background (and you probably don’t need to be a rocket scientist to see the parallels): In Marvel Comics’ — ahem — “Civil War” story arc, the U.S. government passes the “Superhuman Registration Act” after hundreds of innocent American men, women and children become collateral damage in a superhero-related tragedy (the president of the United States even swings by the disaster site to assess the damage). The act mandates registration of all superheroes with the government. Spider-Man initially supports the act but then grows suspicious after discovering that unregistered captives are being held without civil rights at an off-shore prison called “the Negative Zone” (oh, and the prison was built with a no-bid contract). Detainees will remain there for life if they don’t register.

Now, to the present: In this latest Spider-Man comic, America’s favorite swinging web-slinger takes to New York City’s airwaves to publicly denounce the act.

“I’ve seen the very concept of justice destroyed,” Spidey begins (as written by J. Michael Straczynski). “I’ve seen heroes and bad guys alike — dangerous guys, no mistake, but still born in this country for the most part, denied due process, and imprisoned, potentially for the rest of their lives. … But there’s a point where the ends don’t justify the means, if the means require us to give up not just our identities, but who and what we are as a country.”

David Cassel, a Spider-Man fan and editor of 10zenmonkeys.com, said in response, “In thirty years of reading Spider-Man, I’ve never seen an attack so direct.”

No word yet if the Bush administration is actively courting the Batman vote in response.

Investors: Keep doing nothing, Congress

Democrats’ new five-day congressional workweek might make their supporters happy, but it might not please investors, according to Andrew Roth of the anti-tax interest group Club for Growth.

Roth calculated that if you had invested $1 in the S&P 500 at the beginning of 2006 and kept it in the market only on those days when Congress was in session, your return would have been 2.25 percent.

On the other hand, that same dollar kept in play only on days when Congress was out of session would have returned 11.56 percent. The spread on the NASDAQ is even more dramatic: -5.7 percent while in session and 8.19 percent out of session.

In fact, Roth points to a recent academic study that shows similar results. Mike Ferguson of the University of Cincinnati and Hugh Witte of the University of Missouri at Columbia showed earlier this year that “more than 90 percent of the capital gains over the life of the DJIA have come on days when Congress is out of session.”

Portis, Betts together yet separate

They likely will compete for the ball next season, and Redskins running backs Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts may have been competing for the attention of fans and onlookers Sunday night at Posh, where each held court on New Year’s Eve.

Portis, who missed the second half of the season with hand and shoulder injuries, and Betts, who took his place, rang in the new year by sitting at opposite ends of Posh’s VIP upstairs level.

After Betts gained more than 1,100 yards filling in for Portis, there might not be enough carries to go around next year, and Betts just resigned for five years. So does that mean no more Portis? Coach Joe Gibbs has said he’d like to have both players back next year.

Chicago man plunks down dough for Barack

Ever since the “Barack Obama for President” buzz began recently, one of the more catchy slogans to emerge has been “Don’t Tell Mama: I’m for Obama.”

NBC’s Tim Russert even brought up the phrase on Sunday’s “Meet the Press,” when he said, “Certainly, the competition between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton has generated the best T-shirt of this novice campaign, a picture of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, and it says ‘Don’t tell Mama I’m for Obama.’ ”

Thirty-seven-year-old Chicago pediatrician Charles Peters watched that “Meet the Press” segment and decided to plunk down $9.95 to purchase the domain name www.donttellmamaimforobama.com.

“I think Barack’s a great candidate,” Peters told Yeas & Nays. “I wanted to create a site around him.”

2008 horse race heats up

Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., has leapfrogged former Sen. John Edwards, D-N.C., to move into second place in PoliticalDerby.com’s latest 2008 White House Power Rankings.

Still tops among Democrats is Sen. Hillary Clinton, N.Y., while the Republican top three remains unchanged, with Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., leading former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, in that order.

New on the top 10 lists: Gov. Tom Vilsack, D-Iowa; Sens. Sam Brownback, R-Kan., Joe Biden, D-Del., and Chris Dodd, D-Conn.; former Gov. Jim Gilmore, R-Va.; Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio; and former HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson.

Falling off the lists entirely are Sens. George Allen, R-Va., Russ Feingold, D-Wis., and Evan Bayh, D-Ind.

Speakeasy

“Gosh, if we only made that block, if we hadn’t fumbled, if we didn’t get that bad call from the referee, if we had only run that other play.”

– Former Sen. George Allen, R-Va., using one, OK, four last football metaphors to explain his loss to Capitol News Connection