He knows who you’ve been taxing

The holidays can sure tax one’s patience, but that’s the only tax the conservative group Americans for Tax Reform want to see this holiday season (or at any other point during the year, for that matter).

That’s why its annual holiday card puts tax cut advocates and tax cut enemies into “Naughty” and “Nice” lists.

Those who made the “Naughty” list this year are guilty of being one of the following: “Tax Increase Advocate” or “GOP Non Taxpayer Protection Pledge Signer.” And those lucky enough to land on the “Nice” list did so because they are either a “Democrat Taxpayer Protection Pledge Signer,” a “Flat Tax” supporter or a “Tax Cutter.” Americans for Tax Reform is headed by Grover Norquist and the organization’s “Taxpayer Protection Pledge” is considered, by many, to be the Golden Seal of Conservative Approval.

Surprisingly, more Republicans (20) made ATR’s “Naughty” list than Democrats (7), including potential 2008 candidate Gov. Mike Huckabee, R-Ark., and possible Democratic candidate Gov. Tom Vilsack of Iowa. Norquist told Yeas & Nays that he even wanted to put Republican Colorado Gov. Bill Owens on the list twice for his “egregious” tax policies and positions.

On the “Nice” list were five Democrats — Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska and Reps. Gene Taylor of Mississippi, Robert Andrews of New Jersey, Ben Chandler of Kentucky and incoming freshman Brad Ellsworth of Indiana — and some of the usual Republican suspects: President Bush, Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida, Rep. Mike Pence of Indiana, “All 1623 Signers of The Pledge” and, of course, “the ATR Staff.”

But don’t start thinking that Norquist and his members are about to turn into Democrats. “We didn’t have space to put all the Republicans on there that were good on taxes,” Norquist said, adding, “and we also didn’t have enough room to add all the Democrats who were bad on the issue.” What resulted is sort of “Naughty of the Naughtiest” and “Nicest of the Nice,” he said.

Brown generates the green

If you fail at a high enough level in D.C., apparently you’re set for life.

Take, for instance, former FEMA Director Michael Brown. The media’s favorite post-Katrina whipping boy is making “considerably” more money as a speaker and consultant than he did as a member of the administration, he told John Gizzi, of Human Events magazine.

Brown said he’s raking in the dough on the lecture circuit and has generated government consulting work. “I have three or four major clients,” he told Gizzi, mostly in the “strategic planning and government relations” areas.

How’s his access? “I call and get returns [sic] calls from just about everyone in the government,” he said, “except the folks at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. — and, to be fair, I really haven’t tried any of them [or] Michael Chertoff.”

He also said he’s discussing a memoir with a literary agent. Our suggested title: “If I Let New Orleans Sink, Here’s How I Did It.”

Symbolism doesn’t tell whole story between RIAA, BNL

On Monday, we wrote about the Recording Industry Association of America’s annual holiday party starring the Canadian rock outfit the Barenaked Ladies. RIAA remains resolutely opposed to file-sharing, while the band is at the forefront of sharing permissiveness.

So what gives? We finally tracked down a spokesman for RIAA, who told us that “these parties are about fun and not about politics and policy.” Barenaked Ladies “are awesome musicians and engaging performers. Even in Washington, it pays not to read too much into symbolism.”

Terry McBride, the band’s manager, also indicated that fences may not be totally mended. “We have not changed our view on many of the issues we have with the RIAA ... [b]ut we have always taken the point of view that it’s better to [engage] in constructive dialog versus confrontation,” he said.

Former Signatures space reopens next week

Washington’s favorite former den of iniquity is back open — or at least the space is.

The place where Jack Abramoff doled out free dinners and fundraisers to his congressional supporters under the banner of Signatures restaurant, at 801 Pennsylvania Ave., will be open next week under different owners and a different name.

The upscale Italian seafood venture, called D’Acqua, was supposed to open Monday, but that has been pushed back to Dec. 26, while the staff trains.

The restaurant is owned by Francesco Ricchi, who opened I Ricchi, and Enzo Febbraro, and who has been executive chef at Café Milano and Filomena.

A spokeswoman for the restaurant assured us that no, there are no corrupt lobbyists as silent partners in the venture.

Ellington school auction ends with mixed results

On Friday, Yeas & Nays reported that two top eBay items to benefit the Duke Ellington School of the Arts — one featuring homegrown comedian Dave Chappelle and another with local opera singer Denyce Graves — were failing to meet expectations set by the school. Both auctions originally set minimum bids of $1,500 but lowered that number to $500 after little initial interest at those prices.

Well, when the eBay auctions closed on Saturday, the Dave Chappelle package brought $790 and the Denyce Graves package earned the school $405. These two items may have not exceeded (or even reached) expectations, but some others did, including the “Be a Fighter Pilot for a Day” package, which more than tripled the minimum bid.

After all, kids just want to be kids.