Small gov’t meets small bones

We recently received our copy of the 2007 Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute pinup calendar of “Great American Conservative Women.”

“I hope you enjoy this unique calendar and celebrate with us these wonderful leaders in the conservative movement,” writes Michelle Easton, president of the “pro-America, pro-free enterprise, pro-religion and pro-family” organization, in her introduction.

This third annual edition of the calendar sports seven new faces, each with a bio and a pithy quote. Rep. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn., (March) was named the “hottest woman” in U.S. politics by readers of Politics1.com earlier this year.

Sandy Forman (April) is president of the National Rifle Association. She’s fittingly photographed holding a peacemaking pistol.

Laura Ingraham (June) and Carmen Pate (August) both host their own radio talk shows.

The Heritage Foundation’s Rebecca Hagelin (September) now pens her own column for conservative media outlets.

Consultant Cameron Randall Phillips (October) was formerly a reporter for CBN News.

And Elaine Chao (November) is the Bush administration’s only labor secretary. She has been married to Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., for 13 years.

As always, the January slot is reserved for the late Luce herself, the former editor of Vanity Fair and congresswoman from Connecticut.

Other repeat women, back by popular demand, are Miss America 2003 Erika Harold (July); activist Star Parker (February) and anti-immigration pundit Michelle Malkin (May).

And, back for her three-peat: Miss Conservative herself (and Miss December) Ann Coulter.

Was your candy dish fully actionable?

What’s scarier than witches and werewolves? Lawsuits, according to the Center for Consumer Freedom.

The food service-backed group, which seeks to limit regulation of food and prevent obesity lawsuits, distributed a tongue-in-cheek disclaimer to be handed out with Halloween candy this week.

The “indemnification agreement,” designed to be signed by trick-or-treaters, states that they understand that “no warranty, either expressed or implied, is made by Neighbor as to the nutritional content of said Halloween treat. …

“Trick or treater is hereby informed that Neighbor’s food may contain any of the following: calories, carbohydrates, sodium (salt), fat, saturated fat, polyunsaturated fat, monounsaturated fat, peanuts, sugar and gobbledy goodness. …

“[E]ating Neighbor’s treats in conjunction with other sweets (both up to and including a pillowcase worth) may incur risks including, but not limited to, chocolate craving satiation, sugar high, furry teeth and that icky tummy feeling. …

“Lawn decorations, including scary music, a bubbling cauldron, fake cobwebs and the like should in no way be considered ‘slick marketing.’ ”

Lawyers give crummy candy anyway.

Republicans: What, us worry?

With the writing all but written on the wall, Republicans are still yielding no ground.

Here’s a sampling of their most confident musings over the past few days:

» “If we mobilize all of our resources and mobilize our voters to the polls on Election Day, we’re going to do just fine.” – Majority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, in Human Events magazine

» “I’m predicting we’re not going to lose any seats. My prediction is as good as anybody else’s. The day after the election, we’ll see who was right.” – Rep. Don Young, R-Alaska, in the Associated Press

» “When our voters show up at the polls, we will keep control of the House and Senate.” – President Bush, in the Los Angeles Times

» “I’m confident we’re going to keep the Senate; I’m confident we’re going to keep the House.” – White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove, to Fox News

» “It is a Republican Congress we will have after the midterm elections.” – Rep. Tom Reynolds, chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee, to Fox News

» By many measures, there are strong indications of a right-of-center base that is engaged and committed.” – RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman, in a memo to supporters

» “I know of no more disciplined effort than the Republican campaign. I think we’re going to hold both houses.” – Republican grassroots consultant Edward Grefe, at a panel discussion sponsored by The George Washington University

Pundits with maxim-um annoyance levels

Perhaps most Washingtonians have gotten used to the yakety-yak of political pundits that passes as political dialogue in this town. But Maxim magazine — the guy’s mag for partying lads, not hanging chads — thinks that most prattling prognosticators are, well, downright annoying ... and now they’ve got the list to prove it.

Maxim.com has ranked the top 12 “most appalling political pundits.” The list tackles such usual suspects as Arianna Huffington (“She sounds like a Gabor and primps like a Hilton”) to Chris Matthews (“HE TALKS VERY LOUD. VERY VERY LOUD. HIS VOICE IS AN ANVIL. A LOUD ANVIL.”) to Wolf Blitzer (“boasts the same narcotic effect of GHB”) to Rush Limbaugh (“He is to syndicated talk radio what Sirhan Sirhan is to redundantly named assassins.”).

The No. 1 slot, however, is reserved for Ann Coulter. Not one to mince words, Maxim declares, “There are few people on the planet more richly deserving of being set aflame.”

Speakeasy

“People in Maryland are wondering why I have a hyphenated last name and Oxley tells me people in his district wonder why he’s changed his first name to Sarbanes.” – retiring Sen. Paul Sarbanes, D-Md., on WOSU radio in Ohio, on one impact of the Sarbanes-Oxley legislation he wrote with outgoing Rep. Mike Oxley, R-Ohio

“Traffic is moving faster. Before the road work average speed on over 70 percent of the existing roads was 20 kilometers per hour. It has now increased threefold. Pretty soon we’re gonna have to start giving speeding tickets.”– Secretary of Commerce Carlos M. Gutierrez, discussing Afghanistan on Tuesday

Kelly Mahon contributed to this page