Who is the King of the Hill?

For years, the U.S. Senate Softball League and the Congressional Softball League were the two primary softball leagues for Capitol Hill staffers, agencies, lobbyists, nongovernmental organizations and the like. But before the beginning of this summer’s season, more than 100 teams left the CSL to start the U.S. House Softball League, in large part due to their frustration with CSL’s costs — CSL costs more per team because they require players to be covered by injury insurance — and playoff system — CSL’s playoff structure allows weaker teams a better chance of winning. The split caused national headlines and even a spoof on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.”

On Saturday, both leagues held their respective championship tournaments. In the Congressional Softball League, The Resolutionaries, fielded by employees of Search for Common Ground, defeated No Talent AZ Clowns, made up of staffers from the offices of Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., Sen. John Kyl, R-Ariz., and Rep. Jim Kolbe, R-Ariz., by a score of 10-7. In the U.S. House Softball League, Potomac Fever, largely made up of staffers from NGOs, walloped Denny’s Grand Slam, from the office of House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., to the tune of 15-1.

But don’t look for a face-off between the respective league champs. Potomac Fever plays Senate League champs RBIs of Texas in a “King of the Hill” game Tuesday, leaving the Congressional Softball League out of the mix.

Anthony Reed, head commissioner of the House Softball League and legislative director for Hastert, says no snub was meant. It was largely because of some scheduling difficulties, he said, and he and the Senate League, with whom he admits to having “a good relationship,” agreed in November to play each other at the end of this season. And besides, Reed says, “the Senate League had asked the other league to do it for years and they said no.”

“That’s just plain untrue,” says Democratic political consultant and CSL Commissioner Gary Caruso. “They never called me.” Caruso suspects that the exclusion of his league is because of some dirty politicking being done by Reed and Bill Sells, director of government relations for the Sporting Goods Manufacturers Association, which is sponsoring Tuesday’s game. Caruso says that Sells told him this summer that they would not include CSL if they maintained their playoff structure.

“We’d like to participate, obviously,” Caruso says. “But this is Anthony Reed trying to legitimize his league in the first year by coinciding with the Senate League. … And this is a lobbyist trying to maintain his favor with the speaker’s office.”

Kerry still charming Hollywood

Hollywood and D.C. are colliding more and more. On Thursday, the scene was Olives Restaurant; the players, Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass. and actor Tim Robbins.

Kerry was on his way to a private dinner at the restaurant, but when he heard Robbins was in another private room, he made a stop to see the famously politically minded actor before joining his own party.

In town for the Amnesty Film Festival, Robbins premiered his new film, “Catch a Fire,” at the National Geographic Headquarters. In the political thriller, Robbins plays a brutal policeman in apartheid-era South Africa.

Also on the bill that night: “The Ground Truth: After the Killing Ends,” a documentary about American troops returning home from Iraq. Robbins’ dinner companion, in fact, was not longtime partner Susan Sarandon, but rather several Iraq war veterans who were consultants for the film.

“The senator stayed for 15 minutes, talking to the cast and crew of both films,” said our Yeas & Nays spy.

Perhaps Robbins gave the senator some advice for 2008, like “breathe through your eyelids” or “get busy living or get busy dying.”

McCain the next Goldwater?

Tonight, HBO will premiere “Mr. Conservative,” a documentary about the life of former Republican Arizona U.S. Sen. Barry Goldwater. The film paints a flattering portrait of the failed 1964 presidential candidate who helped set in motion the conservative agenda seized upon by Ronald Reagan in 1980.

But is there anyone in the field of potential 2008 Republican aspirants that resembles Goldwater? Yeas & Nays asked National Journal political analyst Charlie Cook.

“I don’t think anyone perfectly resembles Goldwater,” Cook said. “But I’d say [Sen.] John McCain comes closest since he, like Goldwater, is blunt, independent, very candid, not timid about getting in fights and fairly easily riled up.” McCain, however, doesn’t entirely agree. In the film, he says, “I’d love to be remembered as a Goldwater Republican, but I don’t pretend in anyway to live up to the legacy of the man who literally changed the face of American politics.”

Insert your own joke here

Expect plenty of “Zoolander” jokes today. In the 2001 Ben Stiller comedy, a dense fashion model (played by Stiller) is brainwashed to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia during a fashion show. And who is President Bush meeting with today? That’s right: The Prime Minister of Malaysia.

A senior administration official said Friday that the two leaders would use the meeting to demonstrate that “Malaysia is a very good demonstration of how Islam and democracy are fully compatible concepts.”

But all “Zoolander” fans will be looking for is, how acute is the prime minister’s fashion sense?

Speakeasy

“I am reminded by looking at the crowd that Chairman Mao once said ‘If you give me three people in each village I will rule the country.’” – John Nichols, writer for The Nation, responding to the tiny audience at Sunday’s “Camp Democracy” event calling for President Bush’s impeachment

“The Pope is the most respected man no one listens to.” - “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart, performing Saturday night at the Merriweather Post Pavilion

Hip-Hop first

That was rapper Ludacris dropping rhymes before an in-house audience at XM Radio’s D.C. studio Friday afternoon. He was the first hip-hop artist to take part in XM’s “Artist Confidential” series, which has previously featured such performers as Paul McCartney and Coldplay. Ludacris is promoting the Sept. 26 release of his latest album, “Release Therapy” and performed five songs, including his new single, “Money Maker.”