Time to tango with Tucker

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Tucker Carlson is not used to getting lectured. In fact, the one-time host of CNN’s “Crossfire,” who now chairs MSNBC’s political talk show “Tucker,” is usually the one controlling the conversation and sternly engaging his guests in ideological sparring.

But when “Yeas & Nays” stopped by the Chevy Chase Ballroom recently to watch Carlson practice his dance moves with professional dancer Elena Grinenko, we were shocked to witness the rare reprimand of Carlson.

“Tucker, it’s cha-cha one, cha-cha two, cha-cha three,” Grinenko said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Carlson responded. He sat down on a chair, collapsed his head in his hands, closed his eyes and tried to visualize the dance. That didn’t last long.

“Ouch,” Carlson said. “That just hurt my head.” He stood back up, and declared, “I understand the dance. But can I pull it off? That’s an entirely different question.”

Whether Tucker can pull off his dance moves will be the question on everyone’s mind tonight as Carlson makes his debut on the third season of ABC’s popular reality show “Dancing with the Stars.” The show pairs celebrities with professional ballroom dancers and their fate is determined by viewer votes.

Carlson and Grinenko will compete against the likes of Emmitt Smith, Jerry Springer, Harry Hamlin, Vivica A. Fox, Joey Lawrence, Sara Evans — Tom DeLay’s favorite, by the way — and Mario Lopez.

To prepare, Carlson and Grinenko have endured 17 4-hour training sessions in order to prepare. So how will Tucker do?

“My problem is that I’m not self-conscious,” Carlson said. “I don’t look at myself in the mirror, and I’ve never cared about what I look like. Unfortunately, in this type of competition, that could doom me. I’m supposed to care what I look like and how I’m dancing.”

But Grinenko, who just last week won the U.S. National Ballroom Dance Championship, thinks that Tucker has come a long way.

“For 15 practices, he’s doing great,” she said, but, with Tucker within earshot, she made sure to add with a smile, “But we still have a lot of work to do.”

We asked “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart — another famous reprimander of Carlson — if he had any “Good luck!” wishes for Tucker. Not surprisingly, Stewart’s spokesman said the Comedy Central star had no comment.

Coming out party for local talent Glover

HBO’s street drama “The Wire” is set in inner-city Baltimore, but the real action during Sunday night’s Season Four premiere was 30 miles south in Georgetown.

At a packed Blue Gin nightclub, cast members, friends and well-wishers turned out to meet, greet and take in the new episode.

At the center of it all was Columbia Heights native Anwan “Big G” Glover, who plays Slim Charles on the show. Guests were treated to a red carpet studded with custom motorcycles and “Big G”-emblazoned ice sculptures.

“We wanted to get the city behind him and celebrate his rise to stardom,” said Glover’s manager, Terrance Braxton, who helped put the evening together.

In addition to his acting, Glover fronts the local go-go outfit The Backyard Band and hosts the “Ghetto Prince Show” on WPGC on Sunday nights. He has appeared in FHM magazine and has modeled for various clothing lines.

“We’re trying to bring Hollywood to D.C.,” he said. “We’re trying to make a lot of things happen for the city.”

Conspiracy theorist runs for House

If nothing else, a long-shot bid for Congress sure gives you a great public forum for your ideas. Just ask Dr. Bob Bowman, who’s challenging Republican Rep. Dave Weldon in Florida’s 15th District.

Bowman appeared at the National Press Club Monday to tout his alternative views on Sept. 11, which are an integral part of his platform. A charter member of the “9/11 Truth” movement, the retired Army officer said the government “falsely exploited the Taliban, who offered us Osama bin Laden if we provided proof, to put on the people and Congress illegal wars of aggression. [President] Bush, [Defense Secretary Donald] Rumsfeld and [Secretary of the State Condoleezza] Rice should be removed from office and tried for treason.”

Commenting on what he believes is the government’s involvement in the attacks, he said military exercises that morning were, “coordinated to mask the attacks.”

Hey, VF, remember us?

Vanity Fair’s list of the “new establishment” is out, and one could be forgiven for wondering whether the magazine’s New York and L.A.-centric editors have something against the nation’s capital.

Tops on the list among those with Washington ties is Bill Clinton, at No. 7. Al Gore checks in at No. 33. NBC’s Tim Russert breaks into the list at No. 40. Then it’s down to Nos. 68 and 70, respectively, for Washington-based New York Times-ers Thomas Friedman and Maureen Dowd. And that’s it.

Where’s the love?

Speakeasy

“I am sick of Karl Rove’s bulls**t. Nixon was a Communist compared to this crowd.”

– President Bill Clinton, in a New Yorker profile by David Remnick

“I used to think we could make good estimates on the federal budget. I’m not so sure about that anymore.”

– William Hoagland, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist’s chief budget adviser, speaking Monday at an event sponsored by the Security Policy Studies Project on National Security Resources.

Not So Creative

As think tanks and other organizations planned their events and publications for the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks Monday, it seemed like they suffered from their own failures of imagination when it came to titles.

To wit:

» “The Dialogue of Civilizations: Five Years After 9/11” (Council on American-Islamic Relations)

» “The War on Terrorism Five Years After 9/11” (Cato Institute)

» “9/11 Five Years After” (Manhattan Institute)

» “Five Years After 9/11” (Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholar)

» “Five Years After 9/11” (Brookings Institution)