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Hope springs eternal for Baltimore’s Phelps
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Michael Phelps is America’s great bright hope at Beijing. — AP
BALTIMORE (Map, News) - Who woulda thunk it? The United States of America, that noble bastion of individualism, is bombing in individual sports.
The current Wimbledon officially certifies that American tennis no longer exists except for that one family, name of Williams. Tennis — especially that played by people with a Y chromosome — has become pretty much a wholey-owned subsidiary of what Donald Rumsfeld called “old Europe.” Now that Tiger Woods is sidelined, the leftover golfers from the old United States … well, if they were companies, they’d make up the Dow Jones index. The world’s fastest human is a Jamaican. The world's heavyweight champions are Russian and Nigerian, and the best boxer is a Filipino.
Yes, my fellow citizens, even as July 4th is upon us, whoever would’ve thought that globalism would mean that the United States would out-source blue ribbons and gold medals?
But, don’t give up hope, America, because holy Johnny Weissmuller, look! Into this vacuum comes splashing … it’s a man, it’s a fish, it’s … Michael Phelps.
History tells us that Baltimore saved the nation in 1814 — “Our flag was still there!” — after the British burned Washington. History tells us that Babe Ruth left Baltimore, going forth to save the national pastime after the World Series in 1919 was fixed. Now in 2008 history is prepared for young Mr. Phelps to come out of Baltimore this century and not only save our national athletic honor but, by the by, to also save the National Broadcasting Company’s ratings.
You see, it isn’t just that Phelps is our great bright hope at Beijing. Time itself is on his side. Because Beijing is halfway round the world, NBC must present most all competition in prime time, insipidly, on a delayed basis. Even the premiere Olympic sport, track-and-field, will appear here on television hours after the results are known. Who wants to see re-runs of runs already pre-run?
But as a sop to the fading Yankee dollar, the Chinese did agree to schedule swimming in the morning — evening over here — so, at least for those viewers residing east of the Mississippi, the action in the pool will be authentic.
Phelps, who swam for six gold medals in the 2004 Olympics and seven in the world championships last year, is bidding to win eight this time. That would break the fabled record of seven that Mark Spitz accumulated in 1972. The challenge has been joined this week at the Olympic trials, where Phelps is off to a smashing start as he seeks to qualify in enough events to beat history in Beijing.
So much is NBC counting on Phelps to supply both drama and glory in August, that it is hyping him now by showing four nights of the swimming trials in prime time. Bob Costas has already advised Phelps on air that he bids fair to join Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods as a consecrated American demigod. But, heaven help us, should Phelps somehow fail to qualify for enough races so that he can’t chase Spitz’s record, NBC might just as well bag the whole 2008 Olympics and cry out: everybody, outta the pool.
Frank Deford can be reached at flamegarden@aol.com.
Comments from Examiner Readers
10:21 AM MST on Thu., Jul. 24, 2008 re: "Presidential game plan: Obama’s bid rooted to the rise of the black athlete"
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Examiner Reader said:
Dude, come into the 21st century and leave your old white guy racist beliefs behind. Are you friggin' serious? Nah, you gotta be kidding. Some old fart like you? Geez!
2 agree | 1 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
your chauvanistic gilman background shows. what about hoff she is from baltimore too. you seem to dismiss the williams as unamerican---perhaps because they are women also
2 agree | 3 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
This is quite possibly the stupidest article I've read in a while. Frank, was press time five minutes away when you coined this piece?
9 agree | 8 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
Great article; agree with it entirely. The Olympics have lost their prestige, and this year in Beijing, the IOC will recognize this reality when it sees the declining interest from worldwide audiences. And indeed, let's ask the athletes to skip the opening ceremonies and demand that President Bush boycott the games altogether; it's his job to speak diplomatically with action.
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Brian O'Rourke said:
Alas, poor Billick...we knew him well!
128 agree | 131 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
this so called legal system will destroy a thousand white men to destroy one black man. if they want him bad enough. and they do. racism is more clandestine and senister in this country than anywhere else in the world. we black men are considered a threat and always have been. but the table is taking a slow turn. but don't worry we'll show you some love. obviously something you know nothing about.
149 agree | 166 disagree
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avid reader said:
Angelos would not listen to anyone who made sense about making baseball interesting again in Baltimore.
189 agree | 165 disagree
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Michael said:
Football was named after the length of the ball, one foot. It has nothing to do with using your feet. And no one cares about soccer anyway. You could change its name to kickball. Oh, and basketball will be bounceball. And change tennis to racketball, racketball to wallball, and golf to metalstickball. Hey, volleyball. Theres one you can keep. Some people will search high and low to find something to complain about. Isn't there real sports news in D.C. that you can write about.
311 agree | 293 disagree
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Ron Redmerski said:
No way was this supposed to happen. Not like this, anyway. Four years ago when the ACC decided to expand, the prevailing thought on Tobacco Road was that the SEC had some competition. Finally. A 12 team super conference that included two Florida schools and, arguably, New England’s top athletic program. The talent-rich, fertile Newport Beach/Hampton recruiting areas were going to help the ACC yield top five football programs like Pez dispensers spit out candy. Well, if yesterday was any indication of how far the ACC has come, we won’t be eating Elvis Pez any time soon. Losing to an underrated East Carolina team is one thing (not to mention struggling with UAB, a program beaten by Michigan State 55-12 the week prior), but getting run over, completely throttled, by LSU and Oklahoma is quite another. The aforementioned powers made quick and decisive work of Virginia Tech and Miami (and that’s saying it nicely), respectively, the two programs that had John Swofford and the ACC bras
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Examiner Reader said:
Frank Deford's editorial on tall tales: Best athletes seem to rise Growth hormones does wonders ask my 16 year old son who is on them for medical reasons due to cancer treatment as a baby! If an adult or even a child is using them and they shouldn't be who knows what problems they may have down the road.
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Examiner Reader said:
Reminds me of the old line about horseracing as the sport of kings. But you never saw any kings @the $2 window.
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