Steve Forbes has a 12-step plan to fix bad economic policy. Unfortunately, I can only remember 3...

Steve Forbes says it'll be okay. If it weren't for all that vodka afterward, I would have had quite the restful sleep with dreams of low interest rates, job security, and a rallying stock market after hearing him speak at last night's New York Young Republican Club meeting. Seriously. What a spreadsheet is to database management, Steve Forbes is to the financial meltdown. Cue the music.

Mr. Forbes began the night explaining some principles of finance (I remember something about flooding…and it didn't have anything to do with zebras, elephants, or an ark), giving some dating advice (nix the monetary policy pondering), offered a little bipartisan bashing (if anyone remembers that Hoover was in fact a Republican), and even did some audience pandering (apparently we're all just spiffy sans-plastic surgery). Then he moved on to the juicy stuff...which I can't tell you about because apparently it's only in his book available at your local bookseller or e-tailer (Econ 101: there's no such thing as a free lunch…). For those of us that saved our $25 and patience to wait in line for more immediate things like wine and pub food, he did leave us with the following words of wisdom (in a Dacia-voice of course):

This ain't the first time this has happened, and as long as bureaucrats think they can control the wind with their whim (i.e., the free market) , it won't be the last time it happens either. There are some "rules for the road" when it comes to capitalism and when they're not followed, BAM! 1929, the 70s, 2008. Here's what I remember about his opinion regarding today's pressing matters - no apologies…you shoulda been there if you wanted the whole thing.  :)

1. Stabilize the damn dollar!

This is by far the number one priority for Congress. It's the sun to our monetary solar system. The yin to our yang. The teleprompter to our Obama (thanks Brodigan…). Without a stable dollar, we might as well just pack up and move to Canada - or maybe just blame them (cue South Park song…). All in favor? Oookay…maybe that was just funnier in my head…moving on…

With the same logic that Forbes advocates, Rep. Ted Poe of the 2nd District of Texas recaps on this idea by explaining how, since Congress delegated its power over money to the Federal Reserve in 1913, the preoccupation of monetary policy has been on manipulating interest rates while the value of the dollar has declined some 70%. He goes on to explain how it is the lack of the Fed's ability to provide diverse capital (interest rates set the price of only one kind of capital) that removes it from being a valid player in the cycle of supply and demand. It's not how much money, it's the value of the money that's important - what can it do? What do people want to do with it?

The dollar is key to a sound world where our economy will prosper - when stabilized it provides stability and predictability. With that comes lower risk, more incentive, more security, more investment. Basically, when people know that the money they have holds a stable value, they are more willing to do stuff with it.

2. Only put speed limits on financial highways - all those highway cops handing out petty tickets just cause traffic jams.

Well, he actually explained it with more eloquence, but it was a long night and that's my recap. He presented government economic policy using a great voice from the past:

"If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it."

- Ronald Reagan

This idea is classic capitalism; it goes along with the idea that government doesn't solve the problem, government is the problem. When finance institutions are overloaded with government interference, they can't freely adapt and change to the demands of the market. When growth is hindered, markets underperform - it's a long snowballing cycle that ends in a bust. It's common sense, and we've all heard it over and over and over again. It's just not happening though. If it takes me more than 5 hours to read about what I can and can't do - better yet, if I need a degree in the topic to figure out what I can and can't do - there's something wrong.

He also used this philosophy to explain how philanthropy doesn't need to be provided by the government. This is something provided by those who succeed as their way of "giving back". People with money often leave legacies behind for the betterment of others - they establish schools, libraries, and other institutes of knowledge; they build parks, roads, monuments, etc. so that everyone benefits from their success. See: The Rockefellers. The argument is not that the government shouldn't provide these things (okay…maybe it is in a little more of a complicated argument than I want to get into), it's that government doesn't need to force people to do good things with their money by taking it away from them for that purpose.

3. This new health care bill definitely sucks. Actually, our whole health care system sucks!

To animate his first point about this, I'll use his metaphor that asks you to imagine if Congress mandated that everyone have a cell phone in the 80s:

"It's as small as a shoebox folks! And if you order now, we'll throw in a free rotary dialer extension cord pack. That's right! You can install it anywhere in your car and still use the hand held rotary dialer that's only slightly larger than your palm!"

There's a reason that even poverty-stricken Haitians have mobile devices (again, Forbes said that better). Basic economics teaches us that resources are scarce and who gets what allocated to them is a process determined by things like politics, but is best determined by ::drum roll:: competition. The free market is the only thing that will guarantee that there will be more of what is wanted and less of what is not.

So in sum, having the government require and/or provide everyone health care is not going to address questions like what kind or how much health care people will want as individuals. Oh, they will try - but the scarce resource of money is going to determine who gets what based on variables that don't address anyone but the conscience of Congress who get to think that they're taking care of their people rather than letting people take care of themselves.

His next beef has the same point about competition and government regulation along with a new one: transparency. Forbes' argues that health care is an absurd industry because no one worries about how much anything costs - the system is rigged so you're never made aware. You just look at your premium, co-pay, and deductible. In fact if you ask what the cost is, it's assumed that you must not have health insurance - why the hell else would you worry about it? With masked prices, how can anyone shop for the best deal? Further, government regulation prevents cross-state insurance purchases. Forbes points out that in every other industry…food, clothing, commodities…you can live in one state and purchase goods from another. Why not health care? Forbes even asserts that were these particular things fixed, we probably wouldn't have a health care crisis. Do we have a cell phone crisis?

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And there you have it folks. From Steve Forbes' brain to my brain to yours. No really…that's directly from my brain - a notebook clashed with my outfit.

Until tomorrow…