10 job search lessons learned from dating in the city

 

by Christine Cruz, The Examiner

Thanks to my single friends in San Francisco and our hilarious exchange of dating adventures, I've noticed how there is a striking similarity between being in the job market and being single in the city. Many of you in transition can apply the same lessons we learned from dating to your job search in order to successfully land back on your feet.

1. Be optimistic
When you are single or unemployed, the grass will always look greener on the other side. Those who are in relationships or employed may seem like they have it much better than you, but you may not realize that they equally envy the freedom and time off that you have. Stop focusing on what you don't have, and start appreciating what you do have. Positive thoughts attract positive things and people into your life.

2. Be flexible
When you are single, it is so easy to create a checklist of what you are looking for in a potential mate.  In the same way, you may be creating a mental career list of what kind of companies and jobs you will only accept. If you pigeonhole yourself into such rigid requirements, you may be missing out on some great career opportunities just as you may overlook a wonderful person who doesn't fit your "type". Be open to jobs and companies that are outside of your comfort zone. Don't limit yourself, and be flexible because you just might surprise yourself.

3. Be patient
Do you know that gut-wrenching feeling when the person says (s)he will call, but it takes a week or two for them to get back to you? Prospective companies will also take their time getting back to you because they are reviewing thousands of resumes and qualified applicants for the role you want. They will eventually call you back. And the company will eventually get back to you. So be patient, and never demand why they haven't gotten back to you because it will only turn them off.

4. Diversify your portfolio 
I will admit that I have a "type". And many of my single friends in San Francisco have a "type" as well, whether it's the Mission Hipster, Marina Daddy's Girl, FiDi Frat Boy-in-a-suit, SOMA Techie, SNob Hill Entrepreneur, Pacific Heights / Marin Cougar... and the list goes on. But if we all only stick to our "types" in this city for dating, we will all be missing out on so many great opportunities. So we've diversified our portfolios of dating and surprisingly, every person taught us something valuable. In the same way, don't limit your job search to only one type of industry or job role. You are shooting yourself in the foot by limiting your options. Diversify your portfolio of job industries and roles you never imagined you would work for and you will increase your chances of landing a great job.

5. Don't put your eggs In one basket.. remember that it's a numbers game
Dating is simply a numbers game, just as the job search is all about the numbers. You should never put your heart into only one person in the early stages of dating, just as you should never put all of your eggs in one basket for jobs. The more people you meet, the more dates you go on, and the more prospects you juggle... the better chances you are of finding the right person. So hit the ground running and pound the pavement. The more jobs you apply to, the more people you network with, and the more interviews you go on will lead to the perfect job. Don't give up because the numbers will pay off.

6. Don't underestimate the power of the first impression
Some of you spend hours dressing to impress on a first date, while others show up unkempt looking like they just rolled out of bed. But who will impress their date and most likely get a call back for date number two? You should be treating every job interview like a first date. Put on your polished power suit, or iron that botton-down. Bring a black folder or black purse. Make sure your nails and hair are presentable. You only have a few seconds to make your first impression, so make it right.

7. Never badmouth your ex / former employer
You should NEVER badmouth an ex on your first few dates because it will only make you look crazy or show that you are not over them. You should also NEVER badmouth a former employer, boss, or coworker on an interview because that is a major red flag for employers. It will only make you look bad and foretell what kind of bad-mouthing employee you may turn out to be if they hire you.

8. Follow-up
No matter how good or bad the first date is, always follow-up with a thank you. If you are not interested in that person, you can deal with that later when they want to see you again. In the same way, always say thank you to your interviewer and send a thank you card hand-written in the mail as well as an email. Follow-up shows your professionalism and leverages you against other candidates who normally wouldn't go the extra mile to say thank you.

9. Walk away gracefully
Rejection always hurts. It really crushes your spirit when a person that you really like tells you that they're just not that into you, just as a company that you really want to work for tells you that you are not a fit for them or they chose a more qualified candidate. But never overreact, say anything negative, or burn bridges. If you react negatively to rejection, the person can spread vicious rumors about you and ruin your chances of meeting their friends. And if you react negatively to a job rejection, your recruiter may be well-connected and put you on the employment black list. Walk away with grace from the person instead, and they may end up being a good friend who can introduce you to their friends or colleagues. Walk away with grace from the company that rejected you by thanking them for their time, and they may introduce you to other hiring managers or consider you for future opportunities. Bottom-line is never, ever burn bridges. It's simply not worth it.

10. Enjoy your freedom
If you are single, you have the time to nurture yourself, work out, spend time with your friends, go on dates and enjoy doing "singles" things that most couples in relationships cannot do. If you are in transition and in the job market, you have all the time in the world to do things most folks working full-time cannot do. So take classes. Travel. Go to museums. Watch movies. Go to the gym, sign up for a half marathon or triathlon, and get in the best physical shape you've ever been in. You won't have this freedom once you are in a relationship or working full-time again, so take full advantage of it and enjoy your time off... because you are worth it.