In their own words: Catholic young adult convert, Justin Mambaje, part II

Justin receives the graces of the Sacrament of Baptism

"Reading John 6 really got me interested in the Eucharist" ~ Justin Mambaje

 Part II. The conversion process

In July of 2007, a very close aunt passed away from cancer.  Her passing really brought the idea of the afterlife to my attention.  My family prayed the rosary novena for her, but something about it really got me.  Sure I had prayed the rosary and the litany of the saints before, but this time, I was conscious of the meaning.  The petitions, “Lord have mercy,” “Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death,” and “…save us from the fires of Hell, and lead all souls into Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy,” had me questioning if I was ready to meet God and why I should be granted entrance into Heaven.  Replying with, “Because I am a good person,” no longer seemed like a sufficient answer. 

I battled with the thought over the next months.  By Christmas of 2007, I had my answer.  We attended the midnight Mass at Santa Teresa that year and, listening to the Liturgy, my heart was opened to the reality of Jesus.  In the section of the Liturgy where it speaks of the year Jesus was born, it clicked in my mind that Jesus was a real person and not just some myth as in the pagan religions of old.  It became clearer to me that evening why He came to earth, why He is our savior, and that salvation comes only through Him.  I then made a conscious decision to become a Christian.

Now that I wanted to be a Christian, I was faced with yet another problem.  I didn’t know which Christian church to join.  Just driving down the street or looking in the phone book, you come across hundreds of churches.  Yes, there was the Catholic Church, but I had heard so many bad things about it: pedophile priests to corrupt leadership to being money and power hungry to the pope being the antichrist and to having adapted numerous pagan and non-biblical customs.  Also, I knew the Catholic Church had a strict moral code, yet I saw many Catholics not practicing them.  This behavior deeply troubled me as I saw members of other Christian denominations living wholesome, honest, and humble lives.  In the mean time, I finally took up Jasper and his friends’ invitation and started attending Mass at St. Maria Goretti sporadically only because of my comfort and familiarity with the Liturgy.  I was still discerning where Jesus wanted me.

After somewhat researching different denominations and reading their cause of why I should join their particular congregation, I came across one of the Immaculate Heart Radio Station 1260 AM billboards while driving down the freeway.  I tuned in and listened for about five minutes to the commercials and the first part of some sort of sermon by a fanatical-sounding preacher that I had no interest in listening to.  Quickly, I changed the channel back to KMEL.  However, the information I did listen to really caught my attention.  During the commercials, the person talking said something like, “Learn about Jesus and his 2000 year old Catholic Church.”  Could Jesus really have founded a particular church?  I had heard many times from movies, shows, friends, and televangelists that Jesus didn’t come to start a church but to get people to believe in Him.  Jesus actually starting a church was quite a new idea to me and I was eager to research it.  In the sermon, the speaker said to read John Chapter 6 to understand why we do communion.  At the preacher’s command, I went home and read John Chapter 6.
 

Justin with RCIA sponsor and cousin, Melanie Pelayo

Reading John 6 really got me interested in the Eucharist.  I learned the basic teaching on it and saw that John 6 really supported this notion.  However, it wasn’t enough to convince me of the validity of the Catholic Church.  Either way, I made sure I was more attentive during Mass in order to understand fully what was going on.  This started a cycle that motivated me to further research the conflicting ideas between Christian denominations.  I found that both sides put up convincing arguments using the Bible, but I decided that the only way to figure out which church was right would be to find out what the first Christians believed and how it compared to what a particular church’s beliefs are today.  Thus, I started my search for true and authentic Christianity.  The turning point was when I learned about first century Christians and how they were burned at the stake, thrown to the lions, and brutally executed for their beliefs; yet in the midst of persecutions, they were at peace.  Their life’s witness to Jesus and fearlessness in the face of death was inspiring and I wanted to know what exactly they died for.  I was pleasantly surprised that what they believed mirrored what the Catholic Church still faithfully teaches today, most importantly the teachings on the Eucharist.  I now had just enough evidence to determine that the Catholic Church was indeed the church founded by Jesus Christ Himself.

By this time, it was Lent of 2008.  I had a strong desire to become Catholic, but couldn’t bring myself to join an RCIA class.   There were many anxieties about the class being boring, me not fitting in, etc.  Basically my mind was finding reasons not to join, or worse yet, the Devil was keeping me from doing so.  It so happened that 2008 was Lectionary Cycle A and therefore, all the gospel readings were in depth accounts of Jesus’ miracles and profound sayings.  Each week, I was drawn in more and more.  I related my life to the people Jesus interacted with.  First, I paralleled my sinful life with the woman at the well and how I desired the living, life giving water that Jesus could only provide.  Second, I saw myself as dead and bound up like Lazarus and that Jesus was the only one who could bring me to life and free me from my tomb.  The final straw was Palm Sunday where in his suffering and dying on the cross, I at last understood just how much Jesus loved me.  I called to join RCIA the following Tuesday.

I was formally catechized through St. Maria Goretti’s RCIA classes from April 2008 to May 2009.  My faith flourished through the nurturing environment offered by these courses.  Each week, we discussed Church doctrines along with the Sunday readings and how to live out that week’s Gospel message.  We would regularly share how God has worked in our lives and how to listen to Him when He speaks to us.  The testimonies given by my catechists motivated me to seek the Lord and be open to do His holy will. 

The most important thing I learned in RCIA was actually taught my first day there:  to have a personal relationship with God.  It was brought to my attention that all the holy men and women throughout the ages all had personal relationships with the Lord. I took this command to heart and began developing a relationship with Him.  From there I became zealous to learn more and more about the Him and His Church.  As I grew in love for God, the teachings and commandments of the Church no longer felt like tedious rules and regulations, but guidelines that aid us to holiness.  Being humble and obedient to Him and serving others is how I learned to live out my faith.  But once again, none of this is really possible unless you first develop a relation with Him.

The process of becoming Catholic was quite an adventure.  I had good days and not so good days as I would battle the lingering ideas of my old self or anti-Catholic rhetoric from others.  As I became closer to Jesus and his Church, my eyes were opened to how anti-God, anti-church, and anti-Catholic the world is.  On a positive note, I was able to put away bad habits by staying close to God.  However, Lent of 2009 was quite difficult as many of my old thoughts and bad habits tempted me every minute of the day; the Devil unleashed one last massive attack before I was to be baptized. One of those habits was making fun of people. I thought, why give it up? I had fun doing it!  Also, though I thought I had a better control over my anger, I found myself easily angered. But through it all, I just thought of Jesus when He was being tempted in the desert, and it helped me get through Lent.

Justin with Fr. Steven 'Padre' Brown, parochial vicar of St. Maria Goretti 

Easter Vigil was such a glorious time.  The beauty and symbolism of the liturgy that night made me believe that becoming Catholic was the best decision I ever made.  The moments before baptism were very emotional for me.  As we stood at the front facing the standing room only crowd and sang the litany of the saints, I felt as if I were reunited with my long lost family.  I said to myself, “Father, thank you for never giving up on me and for leading me home.”

The Vigil also made me think of how beautiful Lent is—the way the Church prescribed it to be practiced. Lent reminded me of how dead we were; the church decorations showed this—twigs, no colors. It showed how much we needed Christ. The Easter decorations were beautiful—flowers, the baptismal font in front.  One of the things that also struck me during the Vigil was the unity of the Church when everyone was holding candles. The readings reflected our Salvation History: from the Fall of Man to Moses to Jesus Christ. Oh, and the Alleluia and Gloria, both of which weren’t sung during Lent were now being sung in the Vigil. The Gospel was beautifully proclaimed and Fr. Steve, the parish priest, gave a powerful homily—Christ is risen!   

The Litany of the Saints in the Vigil also made me realize that faith is not just a ‘Jesus and me’ thing. We have a family that we’re a part of--people of all ages, races are part of this family of saints. Faith knows no boundaries and it stands the test of time. The Litany of Saints remembers and asks for the intercession of the people who went before us and who died for Christ.