Ask Sally - Elusive lover

October 27, 10:22 PMRomance ExaminerSally Painter

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Sally,

My boyfriend keeps canceling dates on me. It's really hard to have a romantic relationship when I'm all alone. I know his job as an EMS keeps him on call quite a bit and emergencies happen, but what can I do to infuse more romance during the times we have together?

Confused and frustrated

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Dear Confused and frustrated,

That is a tough way to build any realtionship much less a new one. Attitude is probably your best tool for keeping it about the romance and not about the distress over broken dates. So there are a couple of things you can do to make the time you have together special.

• Be flexible. If your schedule allows it, then whenever there is a free moment in the day, try to meet up even if it's only for a cup of coffee or a few minutes at a park. Same thing for lunch, afternoon or evening breaks. The key to your happiness is going to be how prepared you are mentally and emotionally for interrupted and broken dates. It's difficult not to take these personally, but communication will help ease much of your stress.
   
• Discuss and set ground rules. Both of you are faced with a real challenge, so sit down and layout some ground rules about meeting up for spur of the moment dates. If your work schedule doesn't allow for unexpected breaks during the day, then set aside one night a week where you are on call and be prepared to have your time together interrupted.

It's a tough situation but if you feel it's worth trying to accommodate his job, then you'll be off to a good start in the give and take aspect of romantic relationships.

Just make sure you aren't the only one accommodating. <wink> It has to be 50/50 whenever it can be.