Self-help book for teen girls to gain self-respect

July 7, 10:29 PMNY Parenting Teens ExaminerJennifer Wagner

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Jennifer Austin Leigh, PsyD, has written a book for teenage girls, Laid or Loved? The Secrets Guys Wish You Knew About Being a Dream Girl Instead of a Just-in-His-Dreams Girl. This self-help book helps teen girls to love, cherish and accept themselves. Jennifer is a life coach for teenage girls and their mothers.

The findings in Laid or Loved are based on a survey of more than 200 teenage boys.The book includes:

1. Hundreds of quotes, statistics and tips
2. How teenage boys positively view girls who have self-respect
3. 38 secrets guys wish girls knew about being his Dream Girl
4. A “Growing-Up Wounds Quiz” which helps girls find out what’s been causing them to make poor choices for themselves
5. Self-confidence: where it comes from and how to get more
6. Partying too much: how to turn off the guys fast
7. Much, much more

Here is an excerpt from Laid or Loved on the Top 10 Ways to Attract a Dream Guy:

1. Be respectful of yourself and him. This means knowing who you are, what you stand for, your values and being committed to living them.
2. Be a Detective Listener. Pay full attention, don’t make assumptions, ask more clarifying questions, resist the urge to interrupt, show anger or express criticism, don’t get defensive or give unwanted advice.
3. Build your Trust Account with people…Be trustworthy. No cheating, lying, cyberflirting, raiding others’ passwords, ignoring messages, surveillance texting or cyberbullying. What else might break someone’s trust in you?
4. Be kind, empathic and caring. Everyone is struggling to figure out their life. And everyone has their own version of what “truth” is. Be open-minded and open-hearted to others as they go through life, and to yourself.
5. Learn to forgive. Forgiveness is a challenge for most people, yet it is a gift that we give ourselves. People who learn to forgive are generally happier than people who carry their grudges and resentments around with them. Forgive yourself for your own mistakes as well. Guilt and shame are not attractive on anyone.
6. Learn to be happy! 40% of your capacity for happiness is in your control. 60% is determined by biology. Take control of the percentage you can change. Make the choice to be happy. You can journal, write affirmations, play, or cultivate meaningful friendships for a start. Numbing your sorrows with drugs, alcohol, sex or dangerous behavior is not happiness.
7. Think positively. Tune down the volume on your Itty Bitty Shitty Committee – that is, stop believing your negative self-talk
8. Dress well, and in a way that shows your personality with out flashing all the goodies. Guys like style and a little intrigue, not slutty fashion.
9. Don’t strong-arm guys for sex. Don’t be a “hyena”! Guys don’t like being pressured to give in to sex anymore than you do. Respect a guy’s boundaries.
10. Learn your growing-up wounds and how they are affecting your behavior today so you can work on healing them.