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International Political Satire

Baghdad Civic Light Theater Cancels Show

August 20, 11:46 AMInternational Political SatireAndy Valvur
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Dear Baghdad Civic Light Theater fans,

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this summer’s show, “Seven Brides for One Brother” has been cancelled. Why?
 
Because some moron or morons are going around killing the cast members!!!!
 
Sorry. It’s just that I’m so upset by this. Is it so bad to try and bring a little light and gaiety (no pun intended) to this city? It’s not like we all couldn’t use a little distraction from the bombings, and relentless violence.
 
And it was going to be a great show. We had been rehearsing all summer but now, a week before opening night, we only have two brides left. Abdul, Khaled and Hussein are dead. And the other two brides (no names please) have left the country. And you can’t do Seven Brides with only two brides. Trust me on this one.
 
I mean…really. What part of musical theater is so threatening to the masculine culture of this country? What? Do you think being gay is contagious? That you shake my hand and shazam!!! You want to be a decorator? And don’t start with me on the shame business…puhleeze! I know ALL ABOUT shame. My whole life everyone has been ashamed of me. So get in line.
 
No, my biggest sadness is that the show was really good. And the kids worked so hard. A love story, a little laughter, some singing, some dancing. Why are we so afraid of this?
 
Have we forgotten? They used to call us the cradle of civilization! We darn near invented story telling. Hello….1001 Arabian Nights anyone? When did it become wrong to sing songs and tell stories and dance? You people who have killed our cast members…you think you are brave? You think that you have done something filled with honor? When has it become honorable to kill artists? And for your information, two of those guys you killed weren’t gay. They just liked theater. So how honorable do you feel now?
 
But what gives me hope, is that you can’t kill all of us. We’ll be back. You can burn down the theater, but we’ll just build it up again. Because a country that turns its back on art is a country that is dying and as long as I and the rest of the actors have a breath in us, this country is going to live, because we love this great country.
 
OK. Enough ranting. We’ll see you at tryouts in the fall for… wait for it….Jesus Christ Superstar. Kidding…. What? We’ve lost our sense of humor now too?! Lighten up people.
                                                                                Signed,
                                                                                            Hassan  

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