Happiness vs. joy: It’s our choice to make

 

Happiness means different things to all of us during the holidays. For some of my friends, it means long, leisurely afternoons watching Christmas movies. Yet other friends prefer a faster pace, finishing all their cards and shopping by December. Still others find joy in filling up their social calendar with holiday gatherings. For my daughter, happiness is decorating a freshly baked cookie.

Yesterday I spotted a license plate frame with missing words that made me wonder whether this “mistake” might just hold a lesson for us all. It read, “Happiness Is.” It’s so simple yet so true: Happiness just is. It’s there for the taking—for each and every one of us, absolutely free. It’s not waiting for us at a boutique or mega store, at a choir or theater performance. It cannot be bought or sold, wrapped or unwrapped, turned off and on like Christmas lights.

Or can it? My pastor differentiated between happiness and joy in a recent sermon, noting that happiness is a fleeting emotion, whereas joy is a solid inner sense of one’s worth, life’s goodness and God’s grace. So maybe happiness is that feeling we have when we find the perfect gift or receive a special one ourselves—or even when we have a coupon to use at a favorite store. Everyone is being extra frugal this year because of the recession. Over and over people tell me they are “cutting back.”

We are, too, but I prefer to think of it as “redistribution” rather than “cutting,” which implies something has been lost, when the reverse may actually be true. I’m certainly no angel in this department. I sulked when my husband first suggested that we skip buying each other Christmas gifts. When he later hinted about getting me a gift certificate to my favorite clothing store, I admit it cheered me up.

Then I saw a news broadcast about how demand is outpacing donations at food banks and Meals on Wheels. Food banks topped The Huffington Post’s list of “9 Charities Hit Extra-Hard By The Economic Crisis.” CNN reports that at least 1.3 million more people have enrolled in the federal Food Stamp Program compared to last year, according to Ross Fraser of Second Harvest, which donates food to at least 200 food banks. “People who have been in food banking for years say it’s the worst they’ve ever seen,” Fraser said. The Meals on Wheels Association of America says about two-thirds of its members reported drops in both corporate and individual donations, forcing the closure of programs in Texas, Minnesota and California, according to USA Today.

Like I said, I’m no angel: I like getting gifts as much as the next gal. But I got a stomachache listening to these news reports as I thought about thousands of hungry children and the helplessness their parents must feel. So, my husband and I won’t be exchanging gifts, after all, because we want to donate to the L.A. Food Bank. This year we can’t afford to do both, as we have in the past, and that is absolutely fine. Inside I feel great joy. Although I know the gift certificate would make me happy, I also know that the joy of helping others will keep me warm all season long.