Preventing Teenage Suicide

September 9, 12:12 PMCapital District Fatherhood ExaminerJim Dixon

All the victims were teenage girls. The last was only fourteen years old.  Not too many details were made public, probably for good reasons. But rumors swirled of suicide pacts, cults, God knows what else. In the fact department, it wasn’t clear, apparently, how well these girls knew each other. It isn’t clear how connected the incidents are or aren’t. They did apparently live in the same part of the city, in addition to all being students at Schenectady High School.

The school district responded responsibly, even predictably. Task forces were set up. Grief counselors were sent in. Community meetings were held. There was lots of talking.

When things like this happen, parents start to worry, even panic. What if my kid is next? As a parent, you want to believe that your kid is the well-adjusted one, that they would never think about doing something like this. Failing that, you want to believe that if your kid was the one thinking about doing something like this, you’d know. You’d do something. You’d stop it. You’d fix it.

There’s good news and bad news here. You might be able to know if there’s a problem. You might be able to stop it. You might be able to help fix it. I say “help.” If your child is seriously depressed, they need professional help and there probably isn’t a quick fix. But the good news is that if you observe your child, talk to your child, you may be able to spot a problem before it turns into a tragedy.

School district officials in Schenectady blanketed the airwaves with suggestions, and there are some warning signs that bear repeating. Teenagers suffering from a recent loss are more at risk. If your child is talking about suicide, seems preoccupied with death or appears to be saying goodbye, you should start to worry. Suddenly giving away favorite possessions is a warning sign. Additional warning signs include difficulty in eating or sleeping; drastic changes in behavior, withdrawal from friends, social activities or hobbies; loss of interest in school, hobbies or their personal appearance or taking unnecessary risks.

Signs of depression may include declining school performance; loss of interest in social or sports activities; sleeping too little or too much and changes in weight or appetite.

Notice, observe. Talk to your children. When things like the recent events at Schenectady High School happen, ask your teenagers what they’ve heard, what they think. And don’t expect the floodgates to open. Teenagers don’t always react that way. It might also help if you ask them if any of their friends are in trouble. Teenagers talk to other teenagers when they won’t talk to anyone else.

There are resources available. Any of the resources listed below can provide support to someone who needs help, or knows someone who needs help.

Teen suicide is an issue which has to be taken seriously. But as a parent it’s also important not to overreact. It isn’t an epidemic. Kids are very influenced by each other, though. Don’t be a stranger to your child. If they’re in trouble, you don’t want to be the last to know. If they knew someone who has killed themselves, they’re hurting, they’re upset, they’re confused and you have to decide when professional help is warranted.

For more info:  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  1-800-273-TALK.
The Child Guidance Center, Northeast Parent and Child Society, 530 Franklin Street, (518) 381-8911.
The Haven Grief Counseling Center, Grieving Children’s Program, is located at 703 Union Street, Schenectady, New York 12305, telephone (518) 370-1917.