When a child dies...how to help

June 8, 11:49 PMFamily Grief & Bereavement ExaminerCarol A. Ranney

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C Ranney

How to help me…when my child has died
 

♦  Speak my child’s name, to me and to others.  The sound of my child’s name, remembered and spoken by others, is a precious gift.

♦  If you used to remember my child’s birthday, or even if you didn’t, call me.  Send me a card.  Send me an e-mail. Send me a rose.  My heart is breaking with lonely memories on that day. 

♦  If you remember my due date, or the date my child was to be born, mention it to me.  Don't worry that you will remind me or make me sad...I will never forget.

♦  Do you remember the day my child died?  Tell me you remember.  One of my greatest fears is that my child will be forgotten by all but me.

♦  On holidays, mention my child in your card.  Don’t worry about reminding me of my pain…each holiday is painful now.  Your words comfort and soothe my broken heart, and let me know I’m not alone.

♦  Tell me if you think of my child…tell me what reminded you.  Did my child make a difference in your life or teach you something?  If so, tell me, please.

♦  Do you miss my child?  Please tell me so…

♦  Your memories of my child may be the last new thing I’ll ever hear about my son or daughter.  Please, share them with me.

♦  Stop by my child’s grave site and leave a flower, or bring a flower by my house in my child’s memory.  Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who remembers what I lost, and that no one knows the pain I hide behind my every-day smile.

♦  Speak my child’s name aloud to me, and let me hear one more time the name so carefully chosen, bestowed on someone so beloved and so deeply missed.

Broken Hearts, Living Hope is a free newsletter published monthly and distributed worldwide to families who have lost a child of any age, pre-birth through adult, to any cause.  You may subscribe by downloading a subscription form from the website and either mailing or emailing it, or emailing your request from the website.  You may also download a subscription form for a friend, or request a sample copy and subscription form be sent to them.  Broken Hearts, Living Hope is only as available as a print edition.