Children's memorial gardens

October 17, 11:03 PMFamily Grief & Bereavement ExaminerCarol A. Ranney

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Our Children's Memorial Walkway, Charlotte, NC

Imagine a small park with sculptures, benches, walkways, flowering trees and shady resting spots, where the names of beloved children are engraved on bricks or markers at the bases of the trees.  Special times of remembrance are held there throughout the year, and in between times, the garden is there to visit on a lunch break, a summer evening or a sunny afternoon, to remember a loved one lost.

Many people create small gardens in their own yards in memory of a beloved child, and these efforts may eventually be combined to create a public garden.  

Hundreds of children’s memorial gardens exist throughout the country, along with a number of other children’s memorial sites such as Our Lady of the Snows memorial playground in Belleville, IL, and the entryway and play yard at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, OR, where memorial bricks may be purchased to commemorate precious children gone too soon. 

Some of these gardens are public, such as Our Children’s Memorial Walkway in Charlotte, NC, which is part of Frazier Park.  Others, like Our Children’s Memorial Garden of First United Methodist Church in Franklin, TN, and the Babies & Children's Memorial Garden in Stony Brook, NY, are private.  The Child Welfare League of America is striving to unite these many diverse gardens by encouraging them to fly the CWLA Children's Memorial Flag, a red, white and blue flag featuring a row of children holding hands.  The flag, as well as bumper stickers, magnets and lapel pins may be purchased through CWLA.  The flag is available in a 5’x8’ size for large memorial gardens, or a smaller 3x5 foot size.

Child Welfare League Children's Memorial Flag

There are partial lists of gardens online, or you can do an online search for “children’s memorial gardens” in your state.  If you are interested in starting a memorial garden locally, Skip and Jerry Mudge, who were instrumental in starting the Memorial Walkway in Charlotte, welcome inquiries about their experiences and a chance to encourage others to work toward public gardens of remembrance.

You may also "Adopt a Brick" on the Our Children's Memorial Walkway, no matter what state or country you are from.  You will receive a photo of your brick, and many people who have adopted a brick with their child's name on it have later come to visit the walkway.

The University of Vermont Extension Department of Plant and Soil Science has an excellent article about planting memorial gardens in The Green Mountain Gardener.   Whether you have a vision for a peaceful, healing spot for your whole community, or simply want to have a small, quiet haven in your own yard to remember a loved child, gardens are special places of quiet, growth and renewal. 

If you know of a children's memorial garden in your area, you may submit it under "comments" for inclusion on an online list of gardens nationwide.  Please include the name of the garden, the website, if any, and the city and state location, and I'll be happy to add it to the list.