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Are women struggling to be happy?
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What does it take to make you happy?
I read an article on Huffington Post the other day: What’s Happening to Women’s Happiness by Marcus Buckingham. In the article Buckingham argues that women in the Western world are getting increasingly unhappier (he’s using research data from the past 40 years) while men are getting happier.
If you ask a man and then a woman how happy they are, the man will say he is happier than he really is and the woman will do the opposite.
Aren't we all responsible for our own happiness?
Do I think that women lose their happiness when they get older? Perhaps they do. However, there are a few interesting trends that I have observed in working with women that I want to share with you. These are my initial thoughts on the topic and I’d love to hear what your experiences are.
While most men define themselves by their accomplishments, many women have learned to define themselves by their beauty: Can you see the dilemma right here? While a man’s accomplishments increase when he gets older, a woman’s beauty fades, or lets say, changes with age.
This obsession with looking young has lead many women to neglect their inner beauty. While looking good on the outside can be a lot of fun, it is devastating if it’s all there is. It will keep us from looking within to find out what it is we deeply love about ourselves: Our gifts, our values and our unique female strengths. Because deep down we all know, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who knows her values and is kind, passionate, and, happy in her own skin.
Women love to talk.. Have you ever listened to a group of women happily talking among themselves, laughing, giggling and having a good time? Women listen in a way that is nurturing and receptive. We comfort each other by telling stories, by laughing, crying and having a community of like minded friends. A lot of times this is missing in our day-to-day lives and while we are getting more accomplished in our careers, and more competitive with each other, we also lose our connections.
This brings up another point, competition, and how it is hurting women: Competition among women is not in our nature, yet it is something we are doing in all areas of life. For men, competing is part of the game and they do it often and for fun. For women, competing does not come as natural. When we compete we separate ourselves from other women which leads to isolation, not only in business but also in our private lives. If we start collaborating more, we will be able to build strong connections and help each other in getting what we want.
Maybe it’s time we get more courageous about adapting the existing rules to what we need to be happy. Maybe working hard and being competitive is fun for men, while for women taking breaks, having time to relax and talking to other women is what helps us to recharge our batteries.
How would your life change if you put happiness first?
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