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Is there value in playing hard to get?
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At last month’s Dating Boot Camp event, NYC-based matchmaker Matt Titus talked about the rules of attraction. When a woman makes herself too available to a guy, he warned, it’s “game over.” His declaration raised the obvious question -- does the age-old rule of playing hard to get still apply today?
Years ago, a California-based boyfriend had this to say when asked why he was so ardently pursuant.
“Sometimes, it’s the quest of knowing what you can’t have that makes you so persistent,” he said.
His observation made sense. When it comes to romance, drama can be a pretty enticing thing. But is it a prerequisite for passion? And does playing hard to get have to be a part of it?
Maybe not, says 37-year-old NYC dancer Heidi. Her new boyfriend recently told her that if they’re still together in a year, they should get married.
“This,” she says, “is how our relationships should be... easy. I know the whole thing about ‘if it's not worth fighting for, it's not worth having,’ but I like this way much, much better.”
Maybe it’s easier to do without the drama – self-made or otherwise – when it feels like a relationship is progressing naturally over time and, of course, when you’re both on the same page about the direction in which it’s heading.
As for playing it cool, another way to think of it is in terms of taking things slowly. Because when you’re making room for romance in your life, and balancing that with staying true to yourself, why rush it?
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