Nationals rookie pitcher Jordan Zimmermann will start every remaining game on the team's schedule, the franchise announced Monday, in a move that surprised some experts.
"Sunday's win really showed us all we needed to see from Jordan," Nationals manager Manny Acta said. "He's apparently the only starting pitcher on the team who can win a game, so we figure we should throw him out there as much as possible. That means he'll be starting all 145 games from here on out."
Zimmermann, 2-0 with a 2.38 ERA in his first two major league starts, was skeptical about the idea, but admitted the team actually appears to play baseball when he is on the mound, as opposed to the bastardized version of lawn bowling the team plays when any other pitcher starts.
"I mean, I've never pitched that often before, but I'm confident my arm can take it," Zimmermann said. "Besides, without me this team would lose 150 games. If I can win 63 or more games, I'll consider the season a success."
Team president Stan Kasten originally proposed the idea of starting Zimmermann in every game during spring training, but coaches convinced him Zimmermann needed more time to mature. After starting the season on pace for a 31-131 record, Kasten decided enough was enough.
It's pretty clear our team is awful and barely anyone wants to watch us play," Kasten said. "Jordan is the only reason people will come watch this team, and he's apparently the only pitcher who can win a damn game. We're just doing what any other rational team would do."
"It's a bold gambit, but we think it could work," GM Mike Rizzo said. "When Jordan pitches, the team really comes together and plays well. As opposed to when anyone else pitches, and the team decides not to hit, field or throw relief innings. Really, having Jordan start every game is the only way to guarantee we don't look like a f---ing tee-ball squad out there."
Rizzo and Acta also said they plan to bat catcher Jesus Flores first, second, sixth, seventh and eighth in the batting order.