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Fathers of special needs kids need our support
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Raising a child with disabilities is challenging to both parents. Mothers are more likely than fathers to have an emotional support network, but that doesn't mean men don't need assistance as well.
In my Mother's Day post I pointed out the importance of supporting the mothers of disabled children year round. I meant to talk about the unique needs of fathers for Father's Day but that day slipped by me.
Whether you believe it is a product of our biology or our society, fathers have different relationships with their children than mothers. They often don't have the social network mothers do and it can make it more difficult to deal with the stress of being a parent.
As an example, I knew a couple many years ago who had a stillborn baby. The mother took several days off to grieve while her husband continued going to work. He took out the garbage, paid the bills, fixed the toilet and all the other chores he normally did. To some extent this is the way he chose to deal with crises, taking solace in the normalcy of day-to-day life. However it is also something our culture expects of men. Big boys don't cry. Fathers must be strong and care for their families even in grief.
What really struck me was how condolences were expressed to the family. Most messages were directed to the mother while some were directed to the parents as a couple. I never saw anyone offering solace just to him.
Fathers of disabled children need emotional support as well, not necessarily the same kind as mothers but support nonetheless. Friends and family can help but they typically don't understand the unique problems of raising a child with disabilities.
To my knowledge, there are no organizations in Phoenix dedicated to providing help to fathers of disabled children. In fact the only organization I was able to find in the entire country was The Father's Network, a charity based in Washington state. Their focus is on residents of Washington and surrounding states but they are interested in providing help to fathers nationwide.
Phoenix fathers can find local support by making connections with other fathers. Through school, doctors, therapists, and local charities they have the opportunity to meet men raising special needs kids who can understand the singular challenges of raising a child with disabilities.
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