Terrified of traveling with children?

November 20, 9:08 PMNY Budget Travel ExaminerSusan Finch

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I freelance for a family travel website and after perusing our comments area, manuscript submissions, and travel questions, I get the distinct impression that parents are terrified of the mere thought of towing their tots off on a holiday vacation.

Terrified of screaming meltdowns, of whining, of throwing food, of projectile vomit.  And it doesn't matter what the cost is, parents are willing to spend almost anything to avoid the drama.

I'm here to tell you there's no reason to be afraid of your own children.

Through my tenure of researching family travel, I've discovered that this niche is evolving at the speed of light. "Kid-friendly" formerly meant a children's menu and kiddie pool, perhaps with a story time or recommended babysitter.

Then it gradually inched its way toward organized activities for 5-12 year olds, then clawing its way into the tween and teen market (I suspect Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are responsible for that). And then finally, Kids Clubs for infants and toddlers emerged. There's actually day-care for babies as young as 6-weeks at some ski resorts, including Smugglers Notch. Not sure who is skiing 6-weeks post-birth, but more power to you.

All-inclusive vacations like Club Med or Sandals are usually a safe family-friendly bet, but I'm personally not a fan. I prefer getting off the island -- and paying for everything including meals and activities upfront makes me feel obligated to use it instead of exploring on my own. However, all-inclusive resorts almost always have kid programs, unless they're an adult-only resort.

Innovative alternatives include finding a property where you have access to your own, private , certified nanny. Franklyn D Resort in Jamaica offers such service with their all-inclusive price and evening babysitting is available for a mere $4/hr. The nannies will hang with your kids from 9:00am - 4:40, keep your place stocked and tidy, and also leave you alone when you want privacy.

Other families might opt for apartment style set-ups with a kid-friendly atmosphere. There's plenty of corporate style apartments, but won't necessarily have cribs and baby supplies ready. The Atheneum in London provides a full-apartment set-up, DVD library, iPod docking stations, baby supplies, milk and cookie turn down service, and toy chest for the kids.

If you're opting for a property with Kids' Club, here's what you need to look for, always opting for value and quality over budget:

* Certified day-care providers, CPR training, and a small child to staff ratio. Infants should have a 2:1 or possibly 3:1 ratio. Research the state or country laws where the resort property is located to find out about child-care laws. It's okay to have a higher child to staff ratio for older groups.

* Age-appropriate activities in small groups. Do not throw your unsuspecting 10 year olds in with a group of 5 year olds. Look for clubs that separate teens from tweens, pre-teens from children, and toddlers from infants.

* Gage your child's interests. Ski resorts now offer lessons to guests as young as 2-year olds and snowboarding to 4-year olds. If your child hates the cold and snow, listen to them and respond by arranging fun activities.

* Always ask the management for information on their safety procedures. This is more to make sure they have one than to scrutinize it with a red marker.

* Discuss any issues or fears your child may have with the staff.

Also, decide what you want your family vacation to be all about. You may want some group independence for your child where they can make friends and have their own mini-vacation. Or you might want a 'togethering' vacation where the family does everything together. You might opt for a culturally or creatively enriching vacation for your kids and want art related activities. Whatever you want it to be, make reservations for your child and make sure their favorite activities are available before you get there. Don't promise horseback riding to a beaming 3-year old and and then find out when you arrive that you needed to make reservations 6-weeks before.

My experience in family travel has shown me that most parents are most concerned about safety, a caring staff, appropriate activities, healthy diet alternatives to kid-favorite chicken fingers, and ease. Budget isn't as much of a concern as value. Parents need it to be uncomplicated. That means no drop-offs to obscure daycare locations 20 minutes away, no pick ups in the middle of the most adult-favored activity at the property (like dance classes or cocktail hour), and no diaper duty. Some kid programs on cruises actually won't change diapers, forcing the parents to be attached to a beeper all day, including port stops. So before you book your vacation, ensure you're getting the experience that you want and not just your child's.

Kids like routine and stability and offering them a fun environment with new friends is a good way to keep them happy while you enjoy your own adult vacation. Now that you've got the kids set-up for the trip of your life, make sure the adult activities are just as fun as finger painting and kiddie snowboarding lessons.

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Email me your budget travel questions and challenges at travelexaminer@yahoo.com.  I'll post them here and help you get on the open road.