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A hip holiday shopping guide for your special lady
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Now that you know what not to buy your special lady friend, it's time to partner up and hit the streets to find the right special something for your special someone.
First thing's first: Find a shopping buddy - preferably a gay man or gal pal. I don't want to bash on lesbians or straight men, but ... um ... sometimes their taste can be found wanting. And they tend to migrate to department stores, which should generally be avoided. This holiday season, the smaller the store the better: You will be less overwhelmed, and the staff is more likely to be around to answer questions.
But what to get? Here are some good places to start:
* Generally speaking, women like clothes. At least make an effort to get her something, and keep the receipt. My favorite online shopping site is Lulus.com - it has something for all women and has great prices.
FIRST- Figure out her size. How? Look in her clothes, duh. Here are some rules of thumb:
- Women are sized two ways - letter and number. The letter will be from XS to 3XL. The number will be from 0 to 24, and that's not waist inches, though you should probably see if you can figure than out as well.
- Different stores clothing fit in different ways, so ask store associates if their brands fit tight or large. For instance, Gap brands (Gap, Banana Republic, Old Navy) run on the larger side, whereas BCBE and Bebe run on the smaller side. If in doubt, just ask.
- Shoes. Women wear sizes in shoes according to type. If you want to buy her a pair of boots, for example, check what size she wears in boots. You also may need find out if she has extremely narrow or wide soles or calves. The calves thing may be weird, but some women have a hard time fitting into boots because their calves don't fit into them. The best way to figure this out is see what kind of boots your gal wears. If she goes for knee-high, then stick to that, or go with half-calf or ankle boots if that is what she prefers.
* Etsy it up. I highly recommend the Web site Etsy.com for holiday gifts. You are supporting American-made products that are sweatshop free and generally pretty awesome. On this page you can request items specially made for your sweetie, and someone will make a bid. Awesome, right?
* Give an experience, And no, not a sexual one. If you think the gift of your "sexual prowess" is going to cover holiday gifts, you are sadly mistaken. I heard a story about a guy gave his girlfriend 23 orgasms for her 23rd birthday, and my response was, "That sounds exhausting, and it most likely doesn't involve ice cream, so no thanks."
When I say "experience," think going on a weekender together or to a fun class you could take together. Suggestions include a cooking class (if she likes cooking, not to force her to slave away in your kitchen) or an improv class. If you guys are outdoorsy, you could buy a rafting trip or learn to go spelunking. There are also spiritual opportunities, like a weekend meditation class.
Only do this if you have been together long enough to ensure this gift isn't perceived as creepy, ie., make sure you are in a commited relationship for at least six months. There is a thin line between "remote vaca destination" and "good place to kill me and hide the body."
Important note: Make sure you cover all the bases. No one wants plane tickets to St. Thomas without having a hotel booked. The more you plan for the trip, the better you look. Also, make sure you plan far enough in advance that she can get off work.
Oh, and give her the window seat on the plane. You have to stay in a good mood for the entire gift, or it doesn't count.
What about a spa package? I generally advise against buying someone a spa package because you can end up spending a serious amount of money for a pretty short experience. I paid $225 (including tip) for my ex and I to get massages a couple years ago, and when it was over 50 minutes later, it felt like a big waste of money.
*Personalize, personalize, personalize. Most of the gifts I listed as bad ideas were simply too impersonal. The aforementioned Etsy has a great list for personalized gifts. I have to admit I am still a fan of the mall classic Things Remembered. You can literally personalize gifts or create a gift. Find a great picture of the two of you, blow it up, make it black and white, and put it in a rockin' frame. Fill an empty bottle with sand from the first beach you ever walked on.
Let's get creative! I actually used to chant that to myself before the beginning of art class in junior high. (A thank you to everyone who continued being my friend during that time.) But seriously, be creative, but also make sure your partner will like the gift in the end.
* Give something up. This can't be your entire gift, but agreeing to stop doing/eating/saying something is a good present. The key is to actually do it. An excellent example is to give up smoking. Promise to do the dishes more or not complain when you take out the garbage.
* Check out her bookmarks. I normally don't recommend computer spying because it tends to end in utter heartbreak, but check out your lover's favorite sites for a look at what she may want this holiday season. I actually recommend that women purposely bookmark what they want so their other halves can figure out what they want, yet still surprise them.
In short: Think, think, think. Try to remember things she has said in the past that she wants.
Now, all of my advice is fine and dandy, but if now, HERE IT IS: THE No. 1 RULE ...
If she asked you for something specific, get it for her.
Some women do not like being surprised. They want exactly what they asked for. Feel free to throw in a special bonus, but get the lady what she wants ...
* Give an experience, And no, not a sexual one. If you think the gift of your "sexual prowess" is going to cover holiday gifts, you are sadly mistaken. I heard a story about a guy gave his girlfriend 23 orgasms for her 23rd birthday, and my response was, "That sounds exhausting, and it most likely doesn't involve ice cream, so no thanks."
When I say "experience," think going on a weekender together or to a fun class you could take together. Suggestions include a cooking class (if she likes cooking, not to force her to slave away in your kitchen) or an improv class. If you guys are outdoorsy, you could buy a rafting trip or learn to go spelunking. There are also spiritual opportunities, like a weekend meditation class.
Only do this if you have been together long enough to ensure this gift isn't perceived as creepy, ie., make sure you are in a commited relationship for at least six months. There is a thin line between "remote vaca destination" and "good place to kill me and hide the body."
Important note: Make sure you cover all the bases. No one wants plane tickets to St. Thomas without having a hotel booked. The more you plan for the trip, the better you look. Also, make sure you plan far enough in advance that she can get off work.
Oh, and give her the window seat on the plane. You have to stay in a good mood for the entire gift, or it doesn't count.
What about a spa package? I generally advise against buying someone a spa package because you can end up spending a serious amount of money for a pretty short experience. I paid $225 (including tip) for my ex and I to get massages a couple years ago, and when it was over 50 minutes later, it felt like a big waste of money.
*Personalize, personalize, personalize. Most of the gifts I listed as bad ideas were simply too impersonal. The aforementioned Etsy has a great list for personalized gifts. I have to admit I am still a fan of the mall classic Things Remembered. You can literally personalize gifts or create a gift. Find a great picture of the two of you, blow it up, make it black and white, and put it in a rockin' frame. Fill an empty bottle with sand from the first beach you ever walked on.
Let's get creative! I actually used to chant that to myself before the beginning of art class in junior high. (A thank you to everyone who continued being my friend during that time.) But seriously, be creative, but also make sure your partner will like the gift in the end.
* Give something up. This can't be your entire gift, but agreeing to stop doing/eating/saying something is a good present. The key is to actually do it. An excellent example is to give up smoking. Promise to do the dishes more or not complain when you take out the garbage.
* Check out her bookmarks. I normally don't recommend computer spying because it tends to end in utter heartbreak, but check out your lover's favorite sites for a look at what she may want this holiday season. I actually recommend that women purposely bookmark what they want so their other halves can figure out what they want, yet still surprise them.
In short: Think, think, think. Try to remember things she has said in the past that she wants.
Now, all of my advice is fine and dandy, but if now, HERE IT IS: THE No. 1 RULE ...
If she asked you for something specific, get it for her.
Some women do not like being surprised. They want exactly what they asked for. Feel free to throw in a special bonus, but get the lady what she wants ...
... Or you may not get oral sex ever again.
At least until you fix it on her birthday.
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