Finding a mentor

September 29, 5:12 PMDenver Working From Home ExaminerDanica Favorite

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How do I find a mentor? This question is buzzed about in a lot of circles. Working at home in particular is a lonely pursuit in which having a mentor can be helpful. Many people credit their success to having a mentor, so others want to follow suit. But, as the mentor-less often wonder, how does this relationship happen?
 
Unfortunately, there isn't an easy answer to this dilemma. While some people offer mentoring services for a fee, the reality is that it's not as simple as filling out an application and having a guru appear at your door. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
 

• Most mentoring relationships come out of an organic process that develops over time. It's rare to wake up one morning wanting a mentor, and finding one that same day. This is because it takes time to develop the level of trust needed to be open in the relationship. If you think about it, it's true of any relationship. Trust takes time.
• Look at others who are in your  field. Study them. What can you learn simply by observation? Are they willing to answer some of your questions? Is there someone you click with on a personal level? Build a relationship with them just as you would build a relationship with anyone else. Small caveat here: If your only goal is to take from them, it probably won't work. If you're asking someone to pour into you, you need to be willing to give as well.
• Don't be afraid to ask, but also be willing to accept rejection and not take it personally. Not everyone has time to invest in being a mentor. Sometimes it's not right now. Sometimes it's not ever.
• Be realistic in your expectations. If your goal is to be a talk show host, and you approach Oprah to be your mentor, chances are she's going to say no because she has too many other things on her plate. However, there may be a talk show host at one of your local stations who'd be more than willing to have coffee with you and share some insight.
• Be grateful for what you do get. Maybe the local host doesn't have time for coffee, but sends you an encouraging email. That still took time, and is more than what you had to begin with. So be grateful. Thank that person. Let them know they touched your life in some way. Gratitude breeds goodwill, and negativity only breeds more negativity.
• Pay it forward. Somewhere out there is a person just like you who wants help getting started. Take the time to help them as you can. Set the example of being helpful so that the community around you flourishes. If you help the community around you succeed, you'll succeed too.