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60 Second Lover
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A lady recently contacted me asking if I would review her book, and post the review in my column. I actually love it when people who read my column randomly email me at troubledanger@gmail.com and wish more people would do it more often, hint, hint. Because if you don't, I just ask my friends for suggestions. And you can imagine how much they love getting random text messages from me like "What do you think about when you masturbate" (additional info in the last portion of this article). Outside commentary is always welcome. Although when I talked to the guy who authored the Wikipedia article on female ejaculation about his estimated percentages, he insinuated that I was not good at oral sex.*
Here’s the thing: I do like reviewing things, but not if I have any kind of ties to the people involved in producing the product. Do I consider exchanging a few emails with the author a “tie?” Well, yes, I feel connected to people really quickly. For example, if I were to meet commenter Sampson, I would consider us close friends immediately.
This was first apparent to me when I wrote for our high school newspaper. I had already attacked teenage pregnancy and haunted houses, so the next logical step was, of course, school lunch. The food was pretty awful, even just the smell was enough to encourage my friends and me to walk to my house and raid my parent’s fridge or perhaps drive to the one grocery store to grab yogurt (because it was healthy) and cheesesticks (because they tasted good).
I was all fired up for my school food expose, but the head lunch lady was so nice during our time together I ended up spending 1500 words discussing how a newly implemented computer program ensured each meal was balanced and surprisingly nutritious. So you can see, it was with a slightly less heavy heart, because I don't know the author, that I agreed to review a book I knew nothing about by a woman who seemed perfectly lovely.
The books is called 60-Second Lover, but was nothing like I imagined. It discussed taking a literal minute to do something nice for your partner, outlining how that can improve your relationship. The book is also the size of those mini inspirational books you find by the counter at Barnes & Noble, books titled things like “Chicken Soup for the Single 35-Year-Old Soul.”
60 Second Lover gives suggestions, broken up into “His” and “Her” section on how to remind your partner you appreciate them through everything from inviting them to coffee to a butt massage.**
I don’t want to give away all the secrets. Honestly, at times felt like I was reading Cosmo due to the style of the writing, such as “Schedule Honey Time” or “Give Him a Brewsky.” But skeptic that I was, I decided to give it a shot. I massaged my boyfriend’s shoulders and let him have control of the remote.*** He, in turn, saw the book and started doing some nice things as well.
The effect was probably diminished when we would do something nice and grab 60 Second Lover to see if that suggestion was in the book, in some sort of bizarre competition. But you know what? It actually worked pretty well. Max and I are pretty good about setting aside time to talk daily and being appreciative, but we don’t really go out of our way to get creative to show we care about each other.
You can buy the book at www.serapublishing.com, and Sue Richter is also an Examiner, for San Diego, so feel free to check her out. It might be a good birthday gift for your significant other, and if you don’t think they’ll take the hint, you can always highlight the specific things you’d like them to do.
Ironically, my boyfriend has just asked me to put my laptop down and rub his neck. I’ll sign off here, and thank you, Sue Richter, for helping me to see the importance in this act.
*I am relatively sure he is incorrect.
**I wish there were a better term for it, but butt massages are great. I apparently used to carry a lot of tension down there, which is weird. A boyfriend finally suggested I purchase a tennis ball and roll around on it.
***I am actually relinquishing control of the remote this very second, but am not happy about it.
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