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Epic Fail: The Unborn
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"Heavenly Father, Please Save Our Souls From this Terrible Film" Courtesy of NYPost.com
Released today onto DVD is the “The Unborn”, a film that will surely be remembered for a lifetime, if you only live another ten minutes. Unbeknownst to me, the film had a very brief run in theaters this past January and needless to say it did pretty terrible. While it stars the legendary Gary Oldman, James Remar (of Dexter fame) and Odette Yustman from Cloverfield, Unborn just falls flat and will dare you to shut off the TV and do something constructive with your time. The plot revolves around Casey (Yustman) and her wacky adventures with, you guessed it, ghosts. Sure, isn’t as though supernatural horror flicks are a rare thing nowadays and that there aren’t already way too many of them.
The plot leaves very little to be desired and is very clumsy to the point that you really have no idea what is going on nor do you even care. It begins with Casey having a nightmare about a little boy, a dog wearing a mask, and a dead formaldehyde baby buried in the ground. Of course, the boy returns many times as a spooky ghost to scare poor Casey. Soon, she realizes that she has a discoloration in her eye that leads to the stunning conclusion that she had a twin brother that died in the womb. So is the little boy her dead brother? No that might be too simple, but it is her great uncle that underwent experimentation in a Nazi camp. Well it’s not really the ghost of her great uncle but rather a spirit from another universe taking his form.
This may sound like I’m revealing way too much about the story but the only spoiler I could give you is the fact that movie sucks, and that would be too obvious to be a spoiler. The plot is so baffling that it would take scholars many years of research just to scratch the surface of this enigma. The scares are just silly and redundant. Some are even copied, albeit poorly, from other movies, such as the “spider walk” from “The Exorcist”. Actually, the whole film is very reminiscent of an Asian remake, like “The Grudge”, but surprisingly it is all American.
Anyway, this film is just a piece of Hollywood garbage that is designed solely for the purposes of drawing in the teenage crowd for a quick buck and really shouldn’t be taken too seriously. However, it shouldn’t have even been made. This is the kind of movie that will destroy brain cells and bring any kind of functionality to a complete halt. Bottom line, avoid it like the plague.
Rating:
0 / 5 "Kills"
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