Butterfaces: Ugly celebrity faces, hot bodies

There's something about having a hot body that has its benefits--especially if you're ugly. For instance, it distracts people from looking at your face and most importantly, gets you laid more than you ordinarily would. Even experts agree that when it comes to sexual attraction, an in-shape physique plays a large role. And no one has benefited more from this than butterfaces. Y'know--everything's good, but-her-face. Don't worry, it applies to guys too! In an industry where looks matter most, Hollywood stars are no strangers to the butterface phenomenom. So let's take a look at some celebrities who look best with paper bags over their heads:

Michael Phelps
There's no way Michael Phelps could've been born hot. That would make him absolutely perfect, on a god-like level. He's an American hero--a world champion--a multiple Olympic gold medalist--and has a HOT body. It would be a cruel joke to society if he was born with the face of someone like Zac Effron. But alas, he is no Zac Effron. He has triumphed over his imperfections like: Really big ears, crooked teeth, bad haircuts and a jaw that should be registered as a lethal weapon. I bet Zac Effron can't say he's been on the covers of "Time," "Newsweek," "Sports Illustrated" and "British Smiles Monthly."

Adrien Brody
He's the Oscar winner who planted a back-bending kiss on award presenter Halle Berry during a live Academy Awards telecast and accomplished what only a scripted scene would grant him -- a kiss with a hot girl. After his critically acclaimed success in "The Piano," Brody bulked up and transformed his scrawny figure to a toned and defined physique. Other than his chiseled chest and abs-a-plenty, the first thing you can't take your eyes off of is his hideously large nose. As an avid daredevil, he has broken it three times performing off-the-wall stunts, and once more during filming of "Summer of Sam."


Usher
When Usher took a hiatus from the music business to settle into family life with his baby and longtime girlfriend, it left room to (forgive the pun) usher in a new R&B crooner. Enter: Chris Brown. His voice may not be the strongest, but he's hot. And unlike Usher, he doesn't need to take of his shirt or have a good voice to be successful in the music industry. I don't see the appeal in Usher. Is it because he was the only R&B singer around, and even though his face was fug, his body looked good, and that was just enough to give him heartthrob status? Sort of like when Boyz II Men was the only R&B group around and therefore considered "hot," yet all of them were fat, freakishly tall and ugly.

Tori Spelling
Nobody else could play a companion and confidante to the beautiful, rich teens at West Beverly High like a fat girl--OR Tori Spelling. After all, when you can't turn to a fat girl to make you feel better, any fug face will do. Besides, with a cast of beauties already on set at "Beverly Hills, 90210" Tori Spelling's horsey looks were in no way a threat to the established crew. Years after the series finale, and after a new set of DDs and a few nose jobs later, the "Tori and Dean" reality star may not have any of her late father's money or influence in Hollywood anymore, but she does have a hot DILF husband.


Danny Bonaduce
Former child star turned failed reality TV star Danny Bonaduce illicits the same response I have when I see a bug: I get disgusted, scared, and want to step on it, yet can't keep my eyes off. His body is impressive, but he's got the face only a gold digging wife could love.

Mileena
Mileena is a fictional character in the Mortal Kombat fighting game series who has a sexy, curvacious body, but hideous mug. Kind of like Amanda Lepore.

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