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Recommended reading: Monster Boss
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In honor of National Boss Day, which was October 16, 2008, I wanted to highlight a book that will help you deal with a boss who’s not so deserving of his or her own special day.
In a recent interview with Patricia King, author of “Monster Boss,” she provided advice for overcoming a bad supervisor.
1. Be in charge of you. If your boss is a bully, remember the best way to treat bullies is not to be cowed by their intimidations. If you do not quiver when your bully boss starts in on you, she is likely to give up and take her bully behavior elsewhere. Bullies pick their victims. Stop acting like a victim. You are in charge of your attitude. You decide to be a winner or a loser. Choose winning.
2. Disarm your monster boss. You do this by removing the most potent of his weapons – your emotions. If you never love, hate or fear him, his attacks are harmless. Some people are worth an emotional response, some are not. It will not be easy to uncouple your emotions from your bad boss situation, but if you have to stay in that job, you have to work very hard to turn off those emotional responses. If you can’t leave the job, your only other choice is keep getting upset and sacrificing your mental and physical health.
3. Look for common ground. If your boss is an obnoxious slob or a neurotic perfectionist, you may be so distracted by your differences that you ignore the goals you have in common. Remember, the best way to improve communications is looking for agreement. Then, you can negotiate on the basis of mutual gain.
4. Offer alternatives. If your boss asks you to do something that is unproductive, impossible or just plain harebrained, you don’t necessarily have to agree and do it. But remember, the cardinal rule in business is never to whine about a problem without suggesting a solution. Come up with the best way to proceed and sell the boss on the idea. Present your alternative with confidence and respect and see if you can get him to support a better course of action. Be prepared to let him think that it was his idea all along.
5. Be realistic. If you have had a number of bosses who all turned out to be terminal jerks, you may be expecting too much. Some people get into trouble with authority figures because they have unrealistic expectations of what and who a boss is supposed to be. Stop looking for a boss who is the perfect partner or parent you always wanted. If you want a boss who makes you happy, you are doomed to disappointment. You can rightfully expect that your work will give you a sense of accomplishment, the dignity of making a contribution and earning a living. That should be enough. Seek other meaningful life experiences outside the workplace.
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