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Church and porn: we are not fine
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A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
-Proverbs 17:17
Tomorrow, we will rise from the heaviness of sleep, get clean, get dressed, eat our breakfast and head out to church. Maybe we will listen to worship music in the car. Maybe we will feel extra nice on the road; letting people change lanes with a wave. We will park, unload the kids, distribute chewing gum and head toward the sanctuary. Greeters will smile, hands will be extended and friends will be embraced. We will likely be asked a dozen times how we are doing. We will probably say that we are fine, before returning the question. Again, a positive report in kind. Though the world is steeped in turmoil, here, in church-world, it is fine...just fine.
I want to take a moment and ask a question. What if we all decided that we were actually going to be truthful in our answer? At the outset, this may seem unfair. After all, the variables involved are innumerable. There could be many things amiss. Bear with me and consider the following:
Maybe we have a big church. Let us say that we asked one hundred of our friends how they were doing. Of those one hundred people, let us further assume that fifty three of those people answered with various permutations of the phrase 'I am fine'. What of the other forty seven?
Well, according to information compiled from several sources by Jerry Ropelato at internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com, this is what they might say:
'Pornography is a major problem in my home'.
Even as I write the words, I feel bludgeoned as if by a professional heavyweight boxer. This is a serious statistic with serious implications. That means that forty seven out of one hundred families are being held in bondage by this powerful adversary. Either directly or indirectly so, the caustic effects of pornography use and addiction are well documented. Yet despite rising awareness, the US generated approximately thirteen billion dollars in revenue from pornography just a couple of years ago in 2006, according to the above source.
Pornography does not care who it consumes. Men, women, children, mothers, fathers, pastors, worship leaders and ushers are all at risk. As a body of believers and as a nation, we are in way too deep.
Why are we saying that everything is fine at church? It just is not true. We are not fine.
As long as there is one single, precious man or woman who suffers in isolation, silence and shame, we are not fine. As long as there is one husband or wife who toils to break free from the seemingly insurmountable tendrils of internet porn, we are not fine. As long as there is one child who is forced to grow up amidst stacks of clutter, playing in overgrown yards due to addicted, absentee parents, we are not fine. We are not fine and I emphasize the 'We'.
Oh, I know, confrontation is difficult at times. Nobody wants to feel awkward or uncomfortable. I think about it, and I arrive at this: Would I allow my friend to be hit by a car if I saw it coming? Would I allow my friend to drink poison without saying something, if I knew about it? No, of course not.
Forty seven percent; none of us should feel anything like okay with that.
Tomorrow, when we ask our friends how they are doing, we ought to take a little extra time to make good eye contact and allow the love of Christ to determine the moment. We don't have to know everything, but if we are who we say we are, then we will be there for our brothers and sisters, no matter what. Perhaps we should just remind one another of that fact.
You can take a poll at http://www.truthinministry.org/Regarding_Christians_And_Pornography.
If you have come to a place where you desire freedom from pornography, there are many resources that can be sought. One very good program is Celebrate Recovery. It is a twelve step style program, started by Saddleback Church years ago that is Christ centered and it addresses many different types of addictions, hurts and hang ups. These groups are popping up all over the country. Here is the official website:
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/
If you live in San Diego County, here is a link to a list of area Celebrate Recovery meetings:
http://www.reentry.org/Directories/ADMeetings_M.pdf
Whatever you decide to do, you do not have to do it alone.
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