Recently I wrote about how divorce rates for parents of kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (commonly known as ADHD) can place a great deal of strain upon a marriage. Many people who have kids diagnosed with ADHD won't be surprised that divorce rates are higher among this group. My favorite comment on that article was from Heidi who says, "This goes into category of 'No Duh, tell me something we didn't already know.' The reason for this and we didn't need to spend research money to learn it is that ADHD kids are tough to parent & inevitably result in differences of opinion on how to deal with them." I love that she wrote that. She makes a great point.
So why am I posting about studies that bring up "no duh" results? Because there are times we all get very overwhelmed and overrun by the stress in our lives. And that stress affects our marriages. While we know what is stressing us out, sometimes we (ok, sometimes I) don't realize (or we underestimate) the amount of strain that a certain issue is bringing into our life. When these rough patches happen, often its a combination of a number of stressors that are eating into a marriage.
Any one issue can affect a marriage. But things get really difficult when you're juggling a number of issues. And there's plenty of issues out there (like financial, career, health, child, friendships, family) that can wreck havoc on your relationship.
So sometimes, we all need to read some "no duh" news to make us realize we need to cut ourselves (as well as our spouses) some slack. When you find yourself in the midst of stress, try to recognize it. (Sometimes those times aren't so easy to recognize.) Go easy on yourself and your spouse. When you find yourself in the midst of a rut, try to nurture yourself. Remind your honey of your love and dedication to making the marriage work. And hopefully you'll emerge stronger as individuals as well as a couple.
I got some great insights from John and Heidi in the comments section of that recent post. I plan to share them with you in a future article.