Top 7 tips to a successful online dating profile

November 19, 2:38 PMChicago Relationships ExaminerElizabeth Aloni

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So by now you should have picked an online dating site for you. If you missed it check out my last post for some suggestions. Now comes the time to write your profile. I believe your profile is more then just a way to meet people online. It is a declaration to the world of who you are, what you want in a relationship and how much you think you can have it. It is your vision of the relationship that you want to attract so be mindful about what you write. If you put time and care into your profile, it can help attract appropriate people to you both on and off-line. Off-line? Huh? Yes off-line too. 

1. Make a list of the non-negotiables for your match. I’ve discussed this list in past posts but basically these are qualities that without which you could not be happy in your relationship. Making this list will help you to be clear about what you share as your desires in your profile.
2. Come up with the qualities that are uniquely you. Qualities and activities that are meaningful to you. Make a note of each of these qualities. Ask close friends and family what they think are your most outstanding qualities and behaviors.
3. Be specific. Now that you have all this great data, be specific in all of your writing. For example if you are passionate about travel don’t just say “I love to travel” but rather say “My last trip was to Africa where I was able to see a tiger from 50 feet away. I was awed by it’s beauty and power. On my travel list next is India where I look forward to learning about the culture and spiritual beliefs.” Do you see the difference? In the first example about travel you say just that you love it which does not really reveal anything about you. It could be a hundred different people who could say that (and they do) but in the second example the real you shines through; your passions, your viewpoint and your sense of adventure. This is powerful because it helps to share who you really are not just a one dimensional cyberspace picture but a living, breathing person. It also helps people to connect with you, find commonalities and it automatically serves to weed out people who would never be a match for you.
4. Less is more. You are much better off being specific and including less rather then trying to list off all of your qualities or non-negotiables. Go deep not wide. Be more selective about the qualities, behaviors or activities that you share but go deeper in how you share it. Just like the example above.
5. Talk about “we”. When you are sharing about your ideal relationship, rather then making it a list of what you want talk about how “we” will partner in the relationship. Use your non-negotiables for this portion. For example, instead of saying “My ideal relationship is one where he/she is kind, thoughtful, intelligent, romantic…..” say “We love being thoughtful of one another and find kindness to be the greatest accomplishment. We find romance in the little things like a love note or holding hands while watching TV.” What you will notice is how much more inviting a profile is when you talk about what “we” create then when you talk about what “I” want.
6. Be honest. This is not the time to worry what other people want to hear. This is about standing up for who you are and what kind of relationship you want to create. If you can’t ask for it, you won’t get it. It’s that simple. If you want to find a committed relationship then say so. If you want to get married and have children then say it. Anyone turned off wasn’t for you anyway and most importantly it will save you the time and anguish of meeting so many wrong ones over and over again.
7. Hire a Coach. A relationship coach can help you to gain clarity around what is most important to you, can guide you to reveal yourself honestly and can help you to overcome your fears and obstacles that are keeping you single. The most successful people in this world have coaches because they know the power of focus and dedication in their journey to their desires. If creating a relationship is your goal, why not surround yourself with the support that can enhance and accelerate your success?